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For some of us, after spending many years and many dollars avoiding pregnancy, it can be a huge mental shift to be in the position of trying to get pregnant.  For most women, getting pregnant will happen relatively quickly, but for others, month after month will bring yet another negative pregnancy test.  As those months drag on, baby-making ceases to be fun and instead becomes stressful.  We wonder if something is wrong, we worry about timing.  We eliminate processed grains from our diets and do research online.  We chart our cycles, obsessively check for pregnancy symptoms, and purchase expensive ovulation kits.  Making a baby becomes a time-consuming and nerve-wracking chore.  Pretty quickly, it’s obvious that this is not an ideal situation.

There are, however, ways of combating this stress.  Some techniques work better for others, but the important thing is to actively pursue some relaxation.  Here are a few suggestions:

Exercise

Working your body can calm your mind.  Long walks helped me immensely during the long journey of having our children.  I also found the repetitive quiet of swimming very soothing.  Really, any exercise is a fantastic stress reliever.  Activities like yoga, with its emphasis on meditation, often have an immediate calming effect.

Rediscover the Romance

Try to make baby-making less of a chore.  Be creative.  Get a hotel for a night.  Light some candles and play some music.  Rediscovering the fun will make both partners feel better.

Take up (or restart) a hobby

For me, this was art.  Painting and crafting provided an outlet for my nervous energy, and the joy of creating something was especially powerful.  Find something you love, and dig in!

Alternative Therapy

When I struggled with infertility, the stress of tests, treatments, and waiting really got to me.  I’m a bit of a skeptic, but in desperation, I decided to try acupuncture (this from the girl who doesn’t like needles).  I found an acupuncturist who specialized in women’s health and fertility, and I went to weekly treatments.  It was amazing.  I left every session completely calm, but also energized.

Talk Therapy

Sometimes, the months of trying to conceive drag on long enough to warrant an infertility diagnosis.  This can be devastating to many couples.  It’s a lonely and isolating process, and often, having a chance to talk through your feelings can really help break down the stress and fear.   Referrals for therapists trained in helping infertile couples can often be obtained from OBs or Reproductive Endocrinologists.