If you’re having your first child, you’re about to be very surprised by all the stuff that’s not included at birth… and you’ll probably feel like you’re expected to buy all of it. Fear not, we’ve put past experience to use and identified the 10 things your baby does not need that everyone says you do.
10. Baby Bathtub
While it’s true that your sink is likely much less aerodynamic than these marvels of modern engineering, it will nonetheless hold both soapy water and your baby adequately well. When you feel you’ve outgrown the sink, you’re probably going to be able to use a real bathtub anyway.
9. Changing Table
Between the floor, bed, couch, and dresser top you probably already have at least one flat surface in your house that is larger than a baby. Lay a towel, blanket, or pad down on top of said flat surface, and you have the perfect place to change a diaper. This is certainly not a task that requires its own piece of furniture.
8. High Chair
Full-size high chairs are big and clumsy. They don’t saddle up to a dining table very well, which makes the family dining experience increasingly challenging. What’s worse is that these things are pretty expensive. Their much more portable, smaller counterparts are cheaper and easier to use.
7. Diaper Genie
Diaper Genie, meet trashcan that sits outside the house (or at least in the garage). The Diaper Genie seems to be considered a must-have for today’s discerning diaper-changing parent. Why else would we have received 2 of these contraptions at our baby shower? While fun to use at first, I found that the Genie lost some of its appeal as smells began to escape. Dirty diaper storage is best left for places where you don’t actively live.
6. Baby Einstein Videos
The real Einstein was able to transition from baby to mind-bogglingly brilliant physicist without the aid of these videos. Your child will too (yes, I’m guaranteeing brilliance as a physicist for you child).
5. Baby Wipe Warmers
If you don’t keep the baby wipes in the freezer, I don’t see much of a reason to need to warm them up. These aren’t hot towels at the spa. You’re wiping poop off a newborn — warmth is pretty far down the list of priorities at that point.
4. Super Deluxe Baby Monitor
A simple baby monitor is a nice thing to have. You do NOT need a motion-activated video monitor with a transmission range of half a mile. If you’re far enough away from your child that you need the extra MHZ of transmission power, you’re probably too far away to actually help your her if she needs it.
3. Baby Carrying Devices (Baby Bjorn)
Some people swear by baby wearing. I found these types of devices to be incredibly awkward. Maybe I’m a bit too clumsy, but when I tried to wear one of these things, I felt like I was always about to slam a door right into my son. Even if you have the spatial perception required to be able to safely wear a baby, this is clearly a “nice to have” and not anywhere close to a “need to have.”
2. Infant Positioners – Boppies and Bumbos
As a class of product, these items are called infant positioners! Do you really need a store-bought device to help you position an infant? We’re basically talking about a pillow with a hole in it. Your child will never know the difference if you use a real pillow.
1. Fancy Entertainers / ExerSaucers
Am I the only one who thinks an exersaucer sounds like a combination workout product / cooking appliance? Get the biceps of your dreams while making the world’s most delicious tomato sauce! Act now and we’ll also throw in 2 “bowls of the future!” In actuality, these things look like they could be part of a spacecraft with all the controls and gadgets they have attached to them. Whatever happened to a simple rattle? Your child will have plenty of opportunity to command the star fleet when he’s a full grown, world-renowned physicist. No need for the head start.