I just had the very good fortune of reviewing the program, Talking To Toddlers, and was incredibly impressed.
I personally think that the number one goal of us parents, even when our children are still toddlers, is to be preparing them to one day be on their own and shoot for their dreams. Not just get along with the world and do OK, but absolutely shoot and REACH for their full potential.
You should always be critiquing every type of parenting tip or style and ask yourself, “is this parenting style going to help my toddler learn to be creative, persistent, and motivated?” If that answer is no, then I ignore that technique and keep on looking.
Sadly, most toddler obedience programs in the marketplace today do something that has been proven to crush a child’s chances of ever reaching their full potential, and instead create more “manageable children”.
They accomplish this by forcing a child to do something because “Your The Boss” instead of taking the child’s perspective into view.
For example, if your child is climbing on the furniture all the time, and you are constantly telling him not to, you have two choices.
Choice #1: You can discipline the child for not listening to you.
Choice #2: You can take an extra second to ask yourself WHY is my child misbehaving like this, and how could I give him a more acceptable way to misbehave.
When choosing the first choice you end up showing your child by example that his opinion is NOT what’s important, COMPLIANCE is important… so they’ll grow up to be the type of person who just follows orders. (NOT Good)
But if you’ll take the little bit of extra mental effort that the second choice requires, 75% of the time you’ll realize that your child’s desire wasn’t rooted in evil (imagine that . Instead of just being dissobedient, maybe your child just felt like conquering a tough challenge; and climbing up your entertainment center was a rewarding experience.
So when you punish your child for climbing the furniture he learns MUCH more then “I need to obey Mom”, he also learns that Mom doesn’t appreciate his need to conquer challenges… or even worse, “Mom doesn’t want me trying to conquer tough challenges”.
I share this little example with you, because inside Talking To Toddlers, you’ll discover dozens and dozens of ways you can get your child to stop dissobeying you, in a way where your toddler feels understood and that DOESN’T deteriorate natural desires like the need to conquer, persist, challenge themselves and be independent.
But don’t take my word for it, if you go on over to www.TalkingToToddlers.com right now you can sign up to get some sample audio lessons that show you exactly the type of strategies I’m talking about for helping you solve your toddler’s tantrums.