Raising children isn’t a small task for families that have both parents. When you hear, “it takes a village to raise a child,” it is very true. When you’re a village of one, you face even more challenges. No matter what your situation is, there is nothing easy about raising children, but just know that the hardships are definitely worth it. I am a single mom, and raising Max is no easy task. My village consists of very loving aunts, uncles and grandma and grandpa. At the end of the day however. . .
It’s Up to the Single Parent
It can be a lot of pressure, but for example, if your child wakes up in the middle of the night, you are responsible for their well-being. There isn’t another person to assist you if are sick or tired. This at times can be very nerve-racking, and I know personally in the beginning I went through bouts of anxiety. Although support was available in the daylight hours, at two o’clock in the morning, I was on my own.
It’s Expensive
This is true for all of us, and again certain variables play a part when it comes to expenses. Everything costs money, especially, when the word “baby” is printed across it. Single, together, divorced whatever, it is expensive and most definitely a challenge.
Work Balance
Being a working mom is very challenging, and I addressed this topic specifically in Challenges of Being a Working Mom. Being a single working mom poses specific challenges because again, it can be difficult without the help of a mate. When Max is sick, I don’t have any choice, but to leave work. The village may be available, but they all work as well, so at times they can’t assist.
Stress Relief
Handling the stress and pressure can really take its toll. Now that Max is older and sleeping through the night, things have fortunately gotten easier. I’ve found the following to be helpful tactics in relieving the anxiety that builds up as a single parent:
- Communicate
Talk with other moms about the ups and downs of being a parent. Knowing that you’re not the only one facing challenges as a parent can help reassure you and build up your own confidence. - Visit a Therapist
Visiting a therapist helps because getting an objective opinion from someone who doesn’t have any emotional investments in you can be helpful. Learning the mechanics of how the brain works in times of anxiety really made me see that I am human. - Take a “Night Off”
If you are comfortable letting your child sleep over at a relative’s house, take a night off. Max enjoys sleepovers with his aunt, and I finally am feeling okay without him around for a night. An occasional break like this can let you recharge your batteries. - Find an indulgence
I prefer late night bubble baths. I find that it is so important to have a bit of time for myself even if it is only fifteen minutes.
It is a challenge, and I look forward to reading your challenges as a parent!
Before we were mommies, we were women. And, if we can remember life before our children, we’ll recall having strong urges for “ME” time. Those urges don’t go away simply because we have kids. In life, we naturally take on a mothering roll to everything (deserving or undeserving) around us so it’s no surprise that when we it comes to our own little helpless bundles of joy, we go into “mothering overload”. It’s emotionally overwhelming.
I love your list of stress relievers! They’re all the things we should have been doing for ourselves before we became mommies. Now, these things are even more pertinent to our well-being and we have less time to dedicate to them.
I enjoyed your article very much Amy and could relate to being a single parent and how difficult it truly is. I would encourage you to continue to use this web site for feedback and also to elicit “atta girls” from whoever you can. Keep up the good work and know we are all in this together. You are not alone. Nora