It happens all the time. You are at the playground and a child starts acting up. He’s hitting, kicking, talking back, or being generally unruly. You cannot believe he is getting away with this behavior and you decide to do something about it, even though it is not your child. Is it okay to discipline someone else’s child? Is it okay if someone else disciplines your child? The debate rages on.
Author Ian Kerner (“Love in the Time of Colic”) states that it is absolutely okay to discipline someone else’s child, especially if they are endangering others or are a danger to themselves. He follows the three F’s: “Be firm, fair, and don’t freak out.” By this he means take a firm stance with the child in question, explain to his or her parents rationally and fairly what happened, and be calm about the situation.
Susan Swimmer of More Magazine belongs to the other camp. According to her, parents should leave the discipline to the child’s parents or caregivers. Some children are easily scared by a non-parent who may be strict with them. After all, they may not know your child at all, or how best to speak to them.
If the situation escalates, parents may want to consider taking their child out of the equation by physically leaving the area. If all else fails, steer clear of potentially toxic situations. Says Kerner, “I’ve learned that while I can be firm with another parent’s child, I can’t change their parenting style. It can be frustrating, but it’s better for you to put yourself and your child in safe situations.”
Do you discipline other people’s children?
