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I’ve got a little beef with most the experts out there when it comes to parenting styles…

What’s my beef?

I think most of them are shooting for the wrong goals.  I think most parenting styles try to get their children to behave, or get good grades, instead of equip them with the skills they need to reach their dreams.

Here’s what I mean…

If you ask most parents what they really want for their kids, most parents will tell you something along the lines of, “I want my child to be happy, fulfilled, kind, respectful and be the kind of person who goes for their dreams.”

And I agree, that should be our goal as parents.

However that’s NOT how most parents, or even experts evaluate parenting styles!

When most parents are searching through all the different parenting styles, they are too often doing so because they are fed up with their disobedient child… so they look for parenting styles that creates an obedient child; one who listens and obeys.  One who keeps their nose clean and gets good grades so they can grow up to have a good job.

But I gotta be honest with you here…

I’m not so sure striving for perfect obedience is a good thing.  Not from a “ah their only kids once, so let ‘em have fun” perspective, but because…

You Don’t Want To Raise A Child Who Becomes Programmed To Always Do What Others Tell Them To

Sure, children who obey all your orders are much less stressful to raise.  But they grow up to be people who are very easy to manipulate.

Do you really want to teach your child that kind of mindset?

Look at politics.  Whatever side of the isle your beliefs rest, don’t you find it interesting that all a politician has to do is say they’ll do something and people will believe them… even if the press finds a dozen examples that prove without a shadow of a doubt that their lying, it doesn’t matter.  The public just takes a politicians statements at faith value.

I’d argue that the reason politicians can do this to people, is because our societies parenting styles train our children to be “sheeple”, easily herded and guided to wherever our shepherd wants us to go.

Here’s another reason I question most parenting styles…

I simply see to many examples of children who don’t force their children to comply, growing up to achieve amazing things in their life.

For example, the now billionaire Richard Branson, of Virgin Records, mother had one goal in mind when choosing a parenting style for Richard; to create an independent child.

That’s why at the age of 4 she drove young Richard across London, asked him if he thought he could find his way home… and when he replied yes, she basically said, “Then I’ll see you for super in a few hours.”

And left him there to find his way home!

Now that’s a parent who’s got the end goal in mind!  That’s a parent who is thinking beyond JUST getting her child to behave.

I could go on and on with examples, like Danika Patrick who dropped out of high school to learn how to train the female body to withstand high levels of G-Forces so she could fulfill her dream of becoming a professional race car driver – which she did.

I’m sure it wasn’t seen as very obedient when she dropped out of high school, but she couldn’t have become who she was without doing so.

Introducing the Success Parenting Style

Recently a few researchers seem to agree with me and have started evaluating parenting styles by things that matter in the real world.

They’ve started looking at how certain parenting styles make children:

• More or less likely to become divorced
• Become hi income earners or poverty stricken
• Develop leadership qualities, or become “sheeple”

… and a lot of other REAL measurements for success in the real world.

To learn more about this style of parenting, watch this video of expert John Gottman explaining some of his research findings into how parenting styles have a long lasting effect on a child’s chances of success.