Exploring by touching, smelling and seeing, a toddler is on a mission to take in as much as they can. They hold the world in their chubby little hands. It’s normal, but at times it can be frustrating for your toddler, and most definitely for you.
Your toddler is getting ready to speak, and perhaps has a small vocabulary, but can’t quite communicate everything they need or want. My son Max says “hot”, “thank you”, “ball”, “hi” and “bye”. Additionally, he says “aqua” thanks to his bilingual teacher at daycare. It’s sweet and cute, and finally the baby is becoming a mini human! Still, I can see how frustrated he gets when he uses his mini vocabulary to try and get something he wants and I just don’t get it.
Take a Breath
I know, I know, easier said than done! But if your toddler suspects you are frustrated, he will only get more frustrated. I see this happen when I am trying to communicate with Max. If he isn’t making me understand he goes into tantrum mode.
Tantrum Panic
What happened to that sweet bundle of baby that was snuggly in the crook of your arm? He or she is now a squirming, crying hot ball of frustration at your feet. Behaviors may also include:
- Self-inflicted pain, such as banging their head
- Hitting you
- Throwing things
Time for a Time-Out
It’s still a work in progress, but I pick my red-headed ball of fury up, tell him “no” and put him in his high chair for a time-out. It’s a great restraint, and his focus usually moves to actually trying to get out of the high chair. This challenge causes him to calm down. I don’t give him anything, and I walk away. Due to his toddler attention span, and my mother’s good advice, I let him out after a minute has gone by.
As a parent, you know that your child is going to catch onto your methods. They are smart, and that’s why it is important to go with the flow. I write this easily, but I know that I sometimes panic when I see behaviors that I don’t know how to handle. I am interested to read about your experiences during this time of verbal frustration, and how you handle your toddler’s tantrums.
Good advice! My daughter is saying new words every day, but still can’t express her frustration. After she calms down I try to give her the words for how she was feeling, and assure her it’s OK to be frustrated but her behavior (throwing things, whatever) was not OK. And I always tell her I love her and give her a great big hug, too! Good luck during these trying times!
It’s definitely important to remain calm. One thing that always helped for me was to actually get down on the same level as my kids. I found that by speaking softly and squatting down so that we were eye to eye, my kids would be less likely to get upset.
I’d still have trouble figuring out what they wanted sometimes, but at least I wasn’t dealing with full blown tantrums.
I also agree with Kara — it’s super important to make sure your kids know that you love them when you correct them. Good advice all around.
Thanks for the feedback. I do agree that speaking softly is helpful. I know that if someone raises their voice at me, I react differently. I am sure that Max would feel the same.
People at worked talked about using sign language with their kids; sounds like that is a great way for the child to communicate without having the verbal skills. They said they thought that the child didn’t get it, and they stopped, and then the child signed that they wanted more!! How cool is that!
But I assume you’d have to start early for that, but it might alleviate their frustration.