There has been some interesting research published by John Gottman of on how developing emotional intelligence in children may be the most important thing we can do for them, and I found his book “Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child” nothing short of fascinating, and full of very helpful “how-to” advice for teaching children to develop more emotional intelligence.
If you’re not familiar with the concept of Emotional Intelligence, here is a definition from wikipedia:
Emotional Intelligence (EI) describes the ability, capacity, skill or, in the case of the trait EI model, a self-perceived ability, to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one’s self, of others, and of groups.
And it turns out that the higher Emotional Intelligence level of a child, the more successful career they are likely to have, the less likely they are to get a divorce, and they lead more happy fulfilling lives overall compared to people with lower Emotional Intelligence scores.
Much of Gottman’s theory on developing emotional intelligence in children is based off of helping a child identify and label their emotions with help from their parents.
So I got to wondering…
If a parent who helps teach their child how to label their emotions helps their child grow up to better handle conflict, be less likely to get a divorce, make more money and be happier then parents who don’t help their children label their emotions, then…
Teaching Your Child To Talk Sooner Helps Develop Emotional Intelligence
If that’s true, (and so far this is just my theory), then this might explain the premise of this article BabyCenter.com that points out that kids who are labeled a “Chatter Box” seem to develop more social skills and leadership abilities as they grow up vs. children who aren’t talkative.
And maybe, just maybe this suggests that we should spend more time on helping our children learn to talk at an earlier age, instead of just being OK with our children learning to talk whenever they feel like it.
If I am onto something, and talking really can help a child develop emotional intelligence at an earlier age, then the next logical question is…
How Do You Teach A Child To Talk Sooner?
Well it turns out there are a couple different things researchers have found that help a child learn to talk sooner. One of these strategies is outlined in a great book titled Nurture Shock. In this book, the authors point out that when children were observed interacting with their parents over time, there was one thing parents did who’s children learned to talk sooner, that parents who’s children were delayed in learning to speak did not do.
The number one determining factor of whether or not a child learned to speak earlier, ended up being determined by how often the childs parents responded to their babble.
That’s it!
Just by responding to a higher percentage of a young child’s babble, parents were able to get their children to talk MUCH faster then other children.
When I first read about this and paid attention to how often I was responding to my son’s babble I quickly realized I was ignoring almost 90% of the noises they were making… and quickly decided to commit to responding more.
And so far it seems to be working!
My son is more talkative then any other boys his age, and AS talkative, at 2 1/2 as any girls. And when combining this strategy with the Emotion Coaching strategies that Gottman lines out for developing Emotional Intelligence in children… maybe, just maybe I’ve stumbled accross a very powerful one two punch parenting combo.
But don’t take my word for it.
I want to know what you think. Do you agree or disagree?
Either way I’m curious to hear your opinion, because I’m much more concerned with getting the right answer then being right. So whether you feel like punching holes in my theory or propping it up with yet another strategy, feel free to share those thoughts by commenting below.
I look forward to reading them.
