According to numbers released by the National Sleep Foundation, as few as 15% of teens are getting even 8.5 hours of sleep each night, when at minimum they should really be getting at least 9.25 hours each night. On school nights these hours of rest are even more important.

Why do teens have such crazy sleeping patterns?

I remember well the years of staying up late, loving to sleep later, yet also seeming to run through life on limited sleep. I also participated in a research project on circadian rhythms, those natural tendencies our bodies have to adjust to sleeping and waking cycles. The biological changes that teenagers go through bring about changes in their sleep patterns. It is typical and natural for teens to shift their sleeping habits to later bedtimes, often not falling asleep before 11:00 pm. When teens have to be at school and functioning by 7:00 or so, it is easy to see why they are tired and resist waking in the morning.

Another habit that tends to add to the poor sleep habits of teens is that they often stay up even later on weekends and sleep later in the morning. Their bodies simply don’t have enough time to adjust to these different sleep patterns.

Why is sleep important for teens?

• Rest is needed for keeping up with the demands of academics and sports.
• Sleep deprivation can be a risk for teens who are driving or working at part-time jobs and might be more inclined to fall asleep behind the wheel or while doing a work-related task.
• Poor sleep habits contribute to things like depression and anxiety.
• Unhealthy sleep habits contribute to skin problems like acne.
• Teens are already dealing with surging hormones, and sleep disruptions can make them even more prone to outbursts and frustrations that they don’t deal with well.

How can parents help their teens get better sleep?

Now that I have 2 teenagers in the house adequate sleep is even more of a priority. As a parent I know the demands that their lives have and how important sleep is, but I need to do more than just nag them to go to bed. We have instituted some practices that help them keep reasonable bedtimes, allow for them to still be independent (not many teens want to be tucked in with a story at 8 pm), and have enough energy and enthusiasm for life the next day.

Make a sleep record. Work with your teen to determine how much sleep is actually accrued each night, and what the habits are in the 3 hours before falling asleep. This information will help both of you find ways to improve those numbers.

Prioritize the evening. Homework is definitely an issue for our oldest who is in college. Studies come first, but she can intersperse those with chatting with friends, hanging out with family, or just veg’ing on the couch. Those things that require the most mental and physical energy come first. It helps to set the tone for the evening into a natural slow-down.

Gradually reduce electronics. Between the television, video games, cell phones, iPods, and computers, it is unrealistic to think that teens can have access to all of those right up until they fall asleep and not be interrupted by their blinks, beeps, and constant updates. By about 10:00 we have all of the main lights in the house turned off, and our teens know that they need to limit their technology – laptops only for homework and televisions off. Our sons like to fall asleep listening to the radio or books on CD, but the volume must be low and not distracting others.

Create a cozy room. Warm, comfortable bedrooms are more likely to help teens fall asleep. Help your child create an environment that comforts him and helps him relax. This could include window blinds that block glares from outdoor lights, cozy bedding, options for light music, or scents like lavender.

Make it a habit. In our home the habits are most important. Even our dog knows when it is time to go to bed, just by the adjustments in surroundings. Each night our kids have routines, everything from standard teeth brushing to snuggling with pets. Establishing routines helps signal the brain that it is time to slow-down and prepare for sleep.

Don’t forget about food and nutrition. The foods and beverages your teen chooses will also likely impact their sleep habits in some way. Caffeine, sugars, and carbohydrates can influence the energy levels your kids experience. When you create a sleep record with them, include their foods, especially those they eat from supper and beyond. Also consider what they are eating throughout the day. My daughter feels most tired in the early afternoon, so we are adjusting her lunch to compensate for her sleepy feelings right when she needs to be alert in classes – fewer carbs and more fruits and veggies.

Be ready for the morning. Mornings just aren’t pretty things for most teens. In order to make the morning less chaotic, we make sure our kids plan ahead the night before so they aren’t scattered the next day. They also have morning routines and know how long it will take to get things done before they are ready for school. Just as we have a technology wind-down at night, we have a slow-start policy for them for the morning. Until their chores are complete and they are ready for school they can’t be checking out Facebook or catching up on emails. Those activities just suck them in and they lose track of time, and don’t help them get energized for the day.

I’m realistic enough to know that telling a teen to go to bed at 9:00 pm will be about as successful as telling a toddler to read himself a bedtime story. Instead of arguing over the biological inevitable, I need to focus on helping my teens adjust their habits so that they can get as much sleep as possible, and get it consistently. I at least know that when I also hear my daughter’s cell phone (the one she must have pushed out from under her pillows in the middle of the night) vibrate through the ceiling above me that she is ignoring that tone as well as my own calls for her to (in my mother’s words), “Rise and shine!”

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For many parents it is a goal to raise their children to be strong, full of integrity, nurturing, and resilient. We want our children to be able to withstand the tough times and fight through obstacles confidently. But how do we go about doing this in a modern world that is filled with opportunities and challenges, some of which are even too great for us? Authors Robert Brooks, Ph.D. and Sam Goldstein, Ph.D. help to give insight to parents in their book Raising Resilient Children. Before you roll your eyes and think Great, another bunch of “experts” giving me another round of advice, consider their premises for how to raise children who develop resilient mindsets. Their ideas are sound enough to give me pause, and reasonable enough to incorporate into real-world positive parenting.

Nurturing Islands of Competence

According to Brooks and Goldstein, “islands of competence” help to build confidence, successes, and resilient mindsets in our children. I usually don’t get too excited about catch phrases when it comes to parenting advice, but something about the visual this phrase islands of competence brings to mind resonates with me. If we imagine a vast body of water (the opportunities and challenges we all face in life), it seems much more daunting without any of these islands of competence on which we can rely for support. These islands do not emerge because someone else put them there, but because we build them for ourselves.

For our children, islands of competence come in many forms. In a very simple analogy, consider a toddler who is desperately trying to master the ladder and slide at the park (this is the vast body of water – the opportunity with challenges). Each time the toddler can make it up just a few stairs independently, she is building her own islands of competence. She might fall occasionally, but as she experiences more independent successes, the overall challenge isn’t as daunting and her confidence builds. She is becoming resilient to the falls and accepting of the challenges.

5 Principles for Nurturing Islands of Competence

Raising resilient children is not easy if our first instincts are to rescue and protect them, or perhaps direct their every move. Brooks and Goldstein outline 5 principles that they say will help our children develop skills that are essential for foundations of success and resilient mindsets.

1. Openly Enjoy and Celebrate Your Children’s Accomplishment
2. Emphasize Your Children’s Input in Creating Success
3. Identify and Reinforce Your Child’s Islands of Competence by Engaging in Environmental Engineering
4. Give Strengths Time to Develop
5. Accept the Unique Strengths and Success of Each Child

Celebrating Accomplishments
If you read my post yesterday or have ever heard of Alfie Kohn, you know that he must be cringing at this thought. Kohn would argue that celebrating successes means that we demonstrate that we love our children more when they do well. Brooks and Goldstein, however, argue that “children will feel more successful when their achievements are acknowledged and appreciated by significant people in their lives.” The small steps our children take, whether when riding a two-wheeler for the first time or swinging the bat in Little League, are opportunities for parents to reinforce the accomplishments of their children, and recognize the small islands of competence that are emerging.

This is probably one of the more difficult principles to know how to incorporate. There seems to be a fine line between acknowledging our children’s successes and praising them to the point where the successes are measured by others (us), and not inwardly by our children.

Emphasizing Input
This is probably one of my favorite principles outlined by the authors, and one that I have seen to be successful with my own children. It is the hands-on approach we take as homeschoolers, where our children supply their unique ideas and we don’t do the tasks for them. If my 10 year old son wants to cook dinner (my chef in the making), it is so intrinsically better for him to do it his way, than to have me hovering and showing him how to do it the way I would. Brooks and Goldstein write that “…children with a resilient mindset assume realistic credit for their successes.”

Engaging in Environmental Engineering
No – you don’t need a formal degree for this. This is the wonderful idea that recognizes that children have different talents, abilities, and inclinations, and encourages parents to support them in their endeavors. Brooks and Goldstein give a great example of traditional education plans that most often address the weaknesses of students – the subject in which they need to improve – and the goals are about improving the weaknesses, but rarely about supporting the strengths. Children who are constantly reminded of their weaknesses are at risk for “swimming in a self-perceived ocean of inadequacy” according to the authors. We need to work with our children to support their strengths and allow them opportunities to pursue these, which in turn often improves their weaknesses naturally.

Give it Time
Every child has an internal timetable and we need to honor the difference they have, as they mature cognitively, emotionally, and physically. All of these developmental phases contribute to just when our kids are ready for various activities or challenges, and some of them just can’t be altered, no matter what we do.

Accept Uniqueness
Brooks and Goldstein suggest an activity for parents. Make one list of the islands of competence you see in your child. Make another list of those that you wish your child exhibited. There will likely be differences. However, we need to be extremely careful that we don’t somehow impress on our children that those differences equate to disappointments we feel in them. This is where Kohn and these authors would agree – if we fail to accept the unique strengths and successes of our children, we risk teaching them that we love them conditionally.

Fight the Good Fight

There is such a thing as a good fight – the kind where perserverence and resiliency pay off and challenges are overcome. It is not easy to let our children try and fail or to see them frightened and unsure, but allowing them to move through these phases gives them the tools they need to develop confidence (their islands of competency). Let them fight the good fight – it is the only way they will know what victory feels like.

Related posts:

1. Build a Strong, Resilient Family
2. Tips for Raising Respectful Children
3. Raising Our Children ‘Gender Free:’ A Valid Choice or Twisted Social Experiment?

<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.betterparenting.com/wp/parenting-styles.pdf"><img class="aligncenter  wp-image-3497" title="Parenting Styles Graphic" src="http://www.betterparenting.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/parenting-styles.jpg" alt="Parenting Styles Graphic" width="543" height="2529" /></a></p>
<p align="center"><a href="http://www.betterparenting.com/category/child/parenting-styles/">Parenting Styles</a> Info From BetterParenting.com</p>

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Waiting for Superman

This journey of education in America was analyzed in Waiting for Superman, produced by Davis Guggenheim, and takes the viewer on a voyeuristic expedition through the educational paths of several children, many of whom are attending struggling schools. Guggenheim, able to and sending his children to better schools, was still struck by the reality that for many children, there are no other choices. His documentary is an attempt to highlight the challenges that American schools face and put personal emphasis on the children who are at risk.

Throughout Waiting for Superman there are several themes about the struggles, and dangers, of American education.

• The power of politicians as exemplified with “No Child Left Behind” and other grand plans that never quite made the grade.
• The power of teachers unions. I admit I was shocked to find that they are responsible for funneling more lobbying money than any other group. Unions spend almost 3x as much money on political campaign ads as all other corporations taken together.
• The dangers of tenure, which originated as a way to give fair and equal opportunities and pay to women and minority teachers. Anyone who has been in a classroom with a teacher or professor who spends more time reading the newspaper, having students watch movies, or seeming as if he couldn’t be more bored has probably met a tenured teacher.
• The mismanagement of money that does go to schools. Money isn’t everything when it comes to building effective educational systems, but it is necessary.
• The inability of school systems to keep progressing with global education requirements.
• Guggenheim’s documentary is an effort to spark energy for improving the education system in America, and he is attempting to do this by bringing us into the personal lives of several children, some of whom we watch crumble under the reality that they weren’t selected in the lottery system to attend a decent school.

Changing Paradigms

Another education advocate, Sir Ken Robinson, took another approach in Changing Paradigms to highlighting the failing education approach in our country. He partnered to create this animate video that truly is an eye-opener when it comes to the struggles our children face in their educational endeavors.

Robinson discusses the various ways in which our educational systems are outdated, ineffective, and underperforming. Some of them include:

• The current educational system was designed for the economic needs of the time during the age of the Enlightenment and the Industrial Revolution. It is outdated for modern society.
• Education systems are failing for two reasons – economic and cultural. It is difficult to prepare children for an economic future when we don’t know what that future will be like. Cultures are trying to maintain their cultural identities, yet still teach children on a global scale.
• College no longer guarantees a job, especially a good job.
• The current education system is based on a narrow definition of the mind – you are either intelligent academically or you’re not. This preconceived idea has caused countless children to fail in school.
• There is a plague of diagnoses of ADHD in our schools. The incidences of ADHD have risen in parallel with the increases of standardized testing.
• Children today are living in the most stimulating environments ever. Technology means our children are inundated with constant streams of information, yet in the classroom they are expected not to be distracted and to absorb information the same way it was presented decades ago.

Academic Challenges and Changes

I homeschool my children precisely because of many of the reasons presented in these two sources. I remember telling someone who was questioning my decision that I just didn’t like the idea of my children being subject to the result of a crap shoot. Teachers, school districts, classmates, and a myriad of other factors beyond a parent’s control can mean the difference between success and failure for students. However, just because I homeschool doesn’t mean that I turn a blind eye to the struggles of educational systems. I still support local school districts, form relationships with the activities within them, and work to be proactive among the students in my community.

After all that is said, it still isn’t enough. Educational reform will take more than people caring. It will require an inside-out response that will make us uncomfortable. The educational system as we know it feels safer than the unknown for many people. But in order for real progress to occur, somewhere along the way we need to take the bull by the horns and institute real changes for our children.

• A revamping of tenure. Both of my parents are retired teachers. I can understand the value of job security for teachers, but practically no other job allows for underperforming employees to receive a salary without high levels of accountability. Merit pay is worth it if it means actually providing excellent education possibilities for our children (who are scheduled to inherit the world).
• A reexamination of charter and other successful schools. Charter schools are succeeding in our country, in part because of financial responsibility that is taken and in part because they take into account how modern children learn and how to best prepare them for the future.
• A restructuring of the teachers unions. Imagine if all of the money spent lobbying politicians was spent on paying excellent teachers and providing amazing opportunities for kids. According to Teachers Union Exposed, just the California Teachers Association alone spent more than $200 million for lobbying against education and healthcare reforms.
• A closer look at tracking. So many schools place students on tracks for education and often these tracks lead them to self-doubt and failures. Students who are labeled as “struggling” or “average” are tracked and expected to take certain classes of lower achieving levels than those who straight A’s. Make sure you know if your child’s school does tracking, and push to have it stopped for your child.
• A reality check. The schools of today were built for the world of yesterday. The jobs, opportunities, and possibilities are vastly different today, as are family structures and finances.

Yes, as a homeschool mom it seems unlikely that I would seem to have interests in or enthusiasm for academic reform. However, I am a homeschool mom because I am so concerned about the academic opportunities, or lack thereof, in our country. As parents and citizens we do need to make efforts when we vote, when we support or don’t support community events, and how we either let the system continue as is or stand up and do something.

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Teaching children responsibility isn’t always easy. But if you read my post yesterday you can see that not only are household chores and responsibilities good for kids, but the earlier we give them to our kids, the better. Even our preschoolers can handle basic responsibilities, and in fact, prosper because of them. Kids who are responsible for contributing to the overall well-being of the household tend to feel more connected to the family, have higher self-esteem, and acquire valuable life skills. The family that works together, stays together, and chore charts are just one way to teach family responsibilities and teamwork.

The Value of Chore Charts

Chore charts are versions of behavior charts, where children are able to tangibly record their accomplishments toward their goals. In our busy household we have used chore charts for many reasons and with good success. Chore charts reduce nagging and they save me from repeating the tasks to my children over and over. They know each day for what they are responsible so there are no surprises. Instead of asking one by one if each task has been accomplished, I can simply ask if the chart is completed for the day, or just look at it myself.

The kids are also motivated by the accomplishments of their siblings. When they see that their younger brother is finished with his responsibilities they want to have those same accomplishments. The core charts are behavior charts because they track and record the efforts put forth by our kids, in essence their participatory behaviors within the family.  The chore charts are hung in a universal location, typically on the outside of the kids’ bathroom door (painter’s tape is great for hanging things on doors and walls without ruining the finishes).

It can be tempting to just do the tasks ourselves, especially when we are in a hurry or have particular ways we want things to be accomplished. However, allowing our kids to complete the tasks on their own with minimal guidance from us will encourage them to take ownership of the tasks and learn for themselves how to most efficiently accomplish the goals. You will only undermine them if you criticize their attempts or go and redo their tasks. If you really struggle with certain tasks being completed certain ways, save those tasks for yourself and give your children responsibilities that you can live with them completing in their own ways.

Easy Chore Charts and Behavior Charts to Make and Print

Chore charts and behavior charts for non-readers and readers are easy to make and they help even the youngest members of the family feel like they are contributing. When my kids were 3 and 4 and not quite reading I would use clip-art in conjunction with the written instructions and make charts like these. The symbols were easy to decipher and helped my non-readers to feel like they were just as capable as older siblings.

It is also a rule in our household that this chart is not the be-all, end-all list of household responsibilities. These are the basics of each day, and there will be other things the kids might be asked to do on any given day. Sometimes I add a row onto my chore charts just for positive attitudes so that when the kids do participate in the family with positive attitudes that can be recorded for each day. This is one of those components that really makes these chore chart more like behaviors charts.

Should I Pay for Chore Chart Results?

Even though chore charts is the common name used for these behavior charts, in our home we usually refer to them as “family responsibility charts” because that is what they really are. The word chore just seems to imply something tedious, and what I hope to be reiterating to my children is that the tasks on these charts are not ominous, but they are how we each participate and work together as a family.

For this reason (among others), we do not give allowances based on the completeness of the charts. Instead we just make it clear from the beginning that the tasks on the charts are necessary for the family to function well. I don’t get paid for doing laundry and my husband doesn’t get paid for snow-blowing. These are things that need to happen in order for our lives to work well. The reward for the kids is self-confidence they get from achieving their goals and participating in the family.

One of the other drawbacks of paying allowance for chores is that eventually as kids get older and more self-sufficient they will have other opportunities to earn money through baby-sitting, odd jobs, or even part-time jobs at the mall. If their motivation thus far has been to earn money, their need for your money from chart completions might not be a motivating factor anymore when money can be earned elsewhere.

If you feel you want to add an extra reward to the chart system consider things like family outings, family game nights, or a special purchase at the end of the month for the family. The stress should be on the reward for the family, as the household responsibilities should be done to better the entire family.

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Did you ever find it odd in college that the professor who taught business had never actually ran one?

Ever wonder why so few adults actually go into a field that even relates to their degree?

These are just a few of the questions this video answers:

Truly spooky stuff huh?

It makes you realize just how much wool has been pulled over your eyes, and how they’ve tricked you into willing pulling the wool over your childrens eyes too.  Hell, they even get you to pay for your child’s indoctrination with your own damn tax dollars.  Brilliant.  Evil, but brilliant.

To see if your child’s school is indoctrinating your son or daughter I would highly encourage you to listen to this interview that I did with John Taylor Gatto, who is one of the men working to more fully expose the evil roots of our school systems.  And don’t make the mistake of thinking that just because you’ve enrolled your child in private school that you’re off the hook.

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Snakes, spiders, the dark, and thunderstorms all seem to have magical powers to frighten children and elicit shrieks, shivers, and meltdowns. If you’re like me, at least one of your kids has developed a fear of something along the way, and finding a way to help them overcome the fear is not always easy. Thankfully enough years of parenting four children has given me experiences that have allowed me to find ways to help calm their fears and worries and grow to be stronger, braver people. One of the most effective ways of helping them cope with their fears is with behavior modification, specifically systematic desensitization.

Behavior Modification and Systematic Desensitization

It’s a mouthful, right? Behind this string of psychology infused words is a practice that you might be doing already, but you didn’t know had such a fancy name. Basically, behavior modification is the process of modifying behaviors through small steps of change and influence to change undesirable behaviors into positive, desired behaviors. The use of systematic desensitization is just one technique of behavior modification.

Systematic desensitization is the process of breaking down a feared activity or feared situation into smaller, more manageable steps. Depending on the severity of the fear, it can start out with as small of a step as necessary to allow the child to make progress without sending them the message that they aren’t brave enough to reach the end goal.

Perhaps the best way to describe what systematic desensitization is would be to tell you about my son and the dreaded dentist. I admit upfront that I played a negative role in his development of his distrust for the dentist’s office. Before he was even two, I had a dental procedure done and actually ended up biting through my tongue, which left me unable to speak clearly for a few days and I was in some pain. Unfortunately, my son was just weeks away from his check-up, and soaked it all in that dentists equated to slurring speech and mouths that were almost too sore for bedtime kisses.

We arrived at the office for his appointment and getting him in the chair was easy, but getting him to open his mouth was impossible. I discreetly explained to the hygienist why my son was apprehensive (I didn’t do it within his ear shot because I didn’t want to validate his fear for him).

The dental hygienist (a wonderful woman!) used a systematic desensitization approach. That day’s visit was all just about checking out the chair, the mirrors, and the cool toothbrushes she had on her counter. No one touched my son’s teeth, but he did give them a big smile at the end of the visit. We waited two months and took him back in where we went through several of the same steps of looking at the equipment and smiling for the hygienist, and moved to letting her brush his teeth. By the third visit we were at a full fledge little guy dental cleaning. Yes – it took more efforts than just one visit, but it’s not like I could just allow him to refuse to see the dentist forever, and holding him in the chair and all but forcing him to cooperate would have only reinforced his fears and distrust. This clip isn’t from my dental office, but does show the same approach being used elsewhere.

Help Your Child Overcome Fears

• For fear of bugs, snakes, and other creatures, start by stories involving them, picture books, and board games. Gradually move to seeing one in person, perhaps at the pet store or other place where the creature won’t be able to touch your child.
• For fear of the dark use some comforting items and gradually decrease the amount of light present. In our nursery we used to have a dimmer switch on the light so that we could adjust it according to the needs of our different children. Nightlights aren’t the only option. Gradually increase moments that your child spends in darker environments – reading at bedtime by soft light, snuggling with you just by the light of sky coming through the windows – create comforting feelings where the dark is not a scary factor.
• Fear of thunderstorms, tornadoes, and other weather extremes is common, but can be helped by highlighting the smaller incidences. When it rains, talk about the great things that rain can do, and how about sometimes there is thunder and sometimes there is not. Read books about storms that help explain to kids what thunder is. Calmly go over building rules for tornado safety – but don’t wait until the stress of the storm is already occurring.

Some Don’ts for Your Child’s Fears

• If your child expresses an extreme fear, don’t say, “It’s OK” as they cry in your arms. You are telling them that their fear is warranted. You can acknowledge their fear and then make attempts to gradually make progress.
• Don’t force your child to do something they fear – it will only increase their anxiety. This is known as “flooding” and can cause greater harm than good.
• Don’t tease your child about their fears as it will just increase the stress about the specific activity or object.
• Don’t give up. Helping our kids keep moving forward is one of the best things we can do for them.  Small steps might take longer, but they still lead to the same destination, and usually result in happier, more confident children.

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12 Tips for Healthier Kids 

1. Invest in small, portable instant hand sanitizer bottles. They have cute rubber bottle holders that can clip to backpacks, key rings, or coat zippers. My kids are more apt to use these if they have their own and are easily accessible.
2. Teach hand-washing as if it is the most amazing activity in the universe. If your little ones aren’t quite at a point yet where they do an adequate job, use the singing trick or tell 3 knock-knock jokes. Have your kids sing the happy birthday song to themselves, the ABC song, or anything that keeps their hands moving for at least 20 seconds. I liked to distract mine with silly jokes – they would be so intent on thinking of the answer that I didn’t have to be the hand-washing police – they kept moving their hands as they thought of the punch line.
3. Pack the tissues – everywhere! You can buy those mini packs of tissues or just take some snack size zipper seal baggies and keep refilling them. Toss them in backpacks, coat pockets, and the glove box. If your child will be spending time outdoors, add a few more for the inevitable winter runny noise. Teach your child when she is not sick how to blow her nose. When the time comes for her to need to know that skill, she might be feeling crabby and have a sore nose, so every time you “help” her it will only irritate her sick little body.
4. Teach your children to cough and sneeze into the crooks of their elbows if tissues aren’t available. This keeps the germs off of their hands and blocks a fair amount of it from zooming to the kids sitting next to them. If your child must use his hand, teach him to immediately wash his hand or use instant sanitizer before touching anything else.
5. Disinfect frequently transported items every day – backpacks, laptop cases, lunch bags just for a start. I even take disinfectant wipes and go over the covers of library books with a quick swipe as soon as we get them home (or sometimes even as soon as we hit the minivan).
6. Use the disinfectant wipes the grocery store supplies or use your own (or a coat sleeve in a pinch). Disinfect and wash the hard surface toys in your house, especially after your kids have friends over to play.
7. Keep your kids exercising. Winter can be a challenging time for people to get outside or out and about to stay fit and healthy. Help your kids find winter sports they enjoy such as skating, sledding, skiing, or snowshoeing. If your climate doesn’t have these cold-required activities, find a local gym or community center where your kids can get regular exercise.
8. Consider adding a vitamin to their regimen if your kids don’t already take one (but talk to their doctor first). Extra boosts to their immune system can help prepare their bodies for the inevitable.
9. Wash their bedding more frequently, including pillows, and invest in a good pillow cover.
10. If your kids are extra sensitive to things like dust mites, keep stuffed animals in the freezer and let your child take one out at a time. These stuffed creatures are germ and mite magnets, but the freezer helps knock those buggers away. One of my sons loved to tuck his creatures into the freezer and then trade out every few days.
11. If your child is ill, please keep her home during the peak of her illness. It isn’t fun to miss the activities of the holidays, but keeping your child at home really is the fair thing to do. One Christmas stayed home with a son who had influenza – it was my gift to others that I didn’t bring him to the family Christmas meal! Good thing, too, as he eventually ended up in the ER with a full blown case of influenza (but no one else did in the family, thankfully).
12. Stay far, far away from those cute little play centers at your local mall if you don’t have a way to clean the surfaces and your kids. Let’s face it – kids are some of the most germ-laden people around. If your kid wants to head down the slide in the food-court while licking the last of the chicken off of his fingers or ride on the plastic pony while she alternately hangs onto the mane and sucks one finger, chances are 8 million other kids did the same thing. Do you really want them bringing all of that home just in time for the holidays?

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3. Child Nutrition – Keeping Kids on a Healthy Diet

Teachers, parents, and students all face the stress of superfluous standardized tests. Teachers are accountable for training students to take these exams and pass them. Parents are often responsible for making sure their children are constantly preparing for these tests. Students have perhaps the biggest burdens of all: they must not only repeatedly attempt to regurgitate information in the forms of lead-shaded bubbles, but they bear the labels those test results give from the earliest ages. They also suffer the unintended consequence of not having the opportunities to learn how to learn. Instead they are all too often in classrooms where teachers must teach to the test.

Author and outspoken critic of standardized testing (among other failures in education), Alfie Kohn digests and dissects the increasing ritual of testing students in the United States. In his article Standardized Testing and Its Victims, Kohn submits eight facts that support his theory that standardized testing is in part ruining our schools. Among these facts, Kohn disseminates the ever-increasing trend to test more and more, and to place increased value on standardized tests as well.

Kohn is not alone in his distrust of and distaste for standardized tests. Professor Rhona Weinstein reports on research that demonstrates that standardized tests are actually eroding the education of our children. Kohn, Weinstein, and others like Sir Ken Robinson, find many reasons why standardized tests are not leading our children into brighter futures, but instead showing them a limited viewpoint of themselves, as if they are seeing themselves in a mirror which is mostly covered in black and only allowing small glimpses of reflection.

• Few countries around the world place the emphasis on standardized testing like seen in America. These other countries do not routinely test children younger than high school age, and are countries with high academic outcomes.
• Standardized tests pressure teachers to teach to the test. The job requirements to end the school year with test scores of certain marks take away from the job description of actually teaching children.
• Schools that focus on standardized tests often decrease classes and opportunities for arts, physical education, social sciences, and more. They instead use their time to focus on the subjects that will be tested, primarily mathematics and language arts.
• Standardized tests measure students’ abilities to answer finite questions in limited areas of focus. They test a student’s ability to weed through possible answers, make guestimates, and interpret the language on a test.
• Education in America is at risk of losing teachers who have the passion and ability to educate children who can think for themselves. The New York Times reports that the pressures to increase test scores results in schools unintentionally making the difficult job of teaching even more demanding, and less rewarding.
• Students who can afford more tutors and rigorous test preparation courses might be able to improve their own test scores, but then increase the already growing gap between socioeconomic groups.

Even among these voices of reason, there are those who feel that standardized tests are the best ways to measure our children’s performances in school and their preparedness for their futures. Some researchers report that standardized test scores are among the best predictors of college and graduate school performances. However, perhaps this is because those students who are able to “test well” are the same students who are able to “test well” on in-class pop-quizzes and the regurgitation of information in college courses. Perhaps both standardized tests and college grades are not the best predictors of life successes and abilities after all.

What can parents and teachers do about the pressures of standardized tests?

Unfortunately, much of the pressure placed on schools to increase tests given and raise test scores come from government. The better the scores, the more money will be available, and the cycle will continue. While the idea behind “No Child Left Behind” is admirable, the execution has been extremely lacking. As Kohn writes, “The focus among policymakers has been on standards of outcome rather than standards of opportunity.” Parents and teachers need to act to make sure that our children are failing because they are learning to ace tests.

Vote. Parents and teachers need to make sure their voices are heard at the polls. Elect officials on all levels who have reasonable, intelligent plans for the future of education.

Be an active school board member. School officials don’t make all of the rules, but they do have a responsibility to represent what is going on in certain regions and communities. They have the position to take the ideas and concerns to the next level.

Give your child a well-rounded education. Whether your child is in public, private, or another type of school, make it your priority as a parent to balance the demands of teaching to the test with real world opportunities for growth. If your school cuts the arts programs, try to make those opportunities available to your child through community programs.

Don’t let your child be stereotyped by test scores. Keep the scores private, both when positive and not so great. The less emphasis you place on the scores, the more confident your child will feel about all of her abilities.

The first time my child took a standardized test I was anxious and wracked with self-doubt. At the age of 7 and homeschooled all of her life she had never taken a standardized exam. I felt as though I was about to be assessed more than she, and the future of our academic choices resided in those test results. Although I knew she was extremely capable and bright, I did not know how she would perform on a test where each circle needed to be shaded precisely and she could not question the questions.

Fast-forward many years and I now know the truth about standardized tests. I know before my kids take their exams if they are passing or failing math, excelling in reading, or surpassing expectations – I don’t need a test to tell me that. My kids don’t need a test to show them how much they know or don’t know. Every year now they take the exams, as mandated by our state’s homeschooling laws, and the kids actually have fun with them and have learned to look at them almost as a game. We don’t fret over scores or fear time limits. The scores might be a mediocore and generalized glimpse of a small portion of their abililities, but they don’t reflect all of who they are and who they are becoming.

I, and teachers and parents like me, can spend countless hours injecting the precise materials we know will be tested into our kids, but we won’t be teaching our children lessons that will let them succeed. They won’t learn to learn and think for themselves, and they won’t have the opportunities to be creative, insightful, and questioning. Without those qualities, what will our future look like?

Related posts:

1. Choosing the Right Path for Your Child’s Education
2. Does Spelling Really Matter in Your Child’s Education?
3. Does Your Child Need College?

Christmas is coming, the gift list is getting fat! It is inevitable that children get stars in their eyes and dream about magnificent toys and gadgets at night. One of the best ways I have found to encourage my kids to keep their gift wish lists reasonable is to have them focus on their gift giving list.

In our family the kids start with a list of all the people who have made special contributions to their lives during that year. This is not limited to family members, but includes neighbors, friends, music teachers, and those who have impacted the kids’ lives. Then I help them go through the list and choose which people they know for whom they definitely want to create something unique. The younger the child, the shorter I try to have them keep that list.

Talk with your kids about the types of gifts they might want to make. Encourage your kids to turn their interests and talents into gifts they can give this holiday season.

If you have a budding baker he can

• Make Christmas cookies and give them in holiday tins
• Make cocoa in a mug or brownies in a jar (supplying the ingredients and directions)
• Dip plastic spoons in almond bark and sprinkle with cookie decorations for cocoa or coffee spoons
• Give a coupon for a free order of (fill in the blank with something he can make fresh at a later date for the recipient)

If your child is an artist she can

• Make homemade placemats or bookmarks and laminate them
• Design the covers to greeting cards to give as a stationery gift set
• Paint the matte border of a frame, with a picture of her and her special recipient inside

If you have a child who loves to be active he can

• Give a certificate for leaf raking, lawn mowing, or snow shoveling
• Create coupon for dog walking
• Present the recipient with homemade tickets for a shared walk at a park or game of 1:1 basketball (great for older siblings to give to younger ones)

Easy Gift Ideas for Kids to Create

Take the month of December to teach your child a new activity or work on one they already enjoy. When my kids were 6 or 7 they learned to latch-hook and cross-stitch, creating gifts for family and friends. These were great projects for them to work on while I read aloud to them or we watched Christmas specials or even a football game on TV. The boys even took up the hobby, one creating a large deer print pillow for his grandparents.

Your kids don’t have to be expert craftsmen or master knitters in order to create special gifts. Head to the craft store and pick up some blank wooden ornaments or even flat wooden or plastic cut-outs in holiday shapes (these are anywhere from $0.20/each to just over $1). Have your kids paint, color with markers, or add glitter and ribbons to these and turn these into ornaments or refrigerator magnets by adding some self-stick magnet pieces.

Teens and tweens can take their favorite songs and create CDs for family members, or get creative and make a digital scrapbook and burn it to a DVD. Older kids are also the perfect ones to give certificates for babysitting, household chores, or lawn services.

It can be really easy for our kids to get caught up in the excitement of gifts for the holidays, but not always as easy to get them excited about the giving aspect. If you have some kids who still aren’t excited about sharing their treasures and talents, take them to do some volunteer service work, particularly for families, and let them see with their own eyes how important it is to give of ourselves.

By the time that Christmas morning arrives, my kids are typical kids and are excited to see what might be hiding under the wrapping paper. However, they are fortunately just as excited (sometimes more so) about the gifts they spent the month creating. I am the proud recipient of a hand-painted birdhouse, numerous artistic picture frames, and even a card-carrying member of the “Son who will clean the junk drawer” club. I can’t wait to see what ideas the kids will come up with next!

Related posts:

1. 10 Tips to Survive Holiday Travels with the Kids
2. Give Your Kids Attitude
3. Tips for Creative Summer Fun with Your Kids