As amazing and wonderful as being a stay-at-home mom can be, if you don’t plan for the realities of it the stress and responsibilities can be daunting. Over the years I made my fumbles, but thankfully was, and still am, able to stay home with all of my children and be a part of their everyday lives in ways I just don’t think I could if I had taken that dream job.

The Dreaded Budget and Financial Fears

• If at all possible practice with a single-income budget before you make the move to become a stay-at-home mom. Stash your current paycheck into savings and only use the income provided by your spouse. This will give you a real-world sampling of what it will be like to live on one paycheck.
• Consider which things you can comfortably live without in order to reach your goal of living on a single income. Look for things you can remove the expense of and still find similar benefits elsewhere.
• Cable – check out DVDs from your library instead
• Dinner out once week – go for dinner out once a month or take a picnic somewhere so you still feel like you are getting out
• Winter vacations – consider travelling in off seasons for reduced rates
• Gym membership – get together with moms from the neighborhood to work out together (set days/times for meeting to walk) or look for used equipment for the home
• Wine of the month club – treats like this have the price tag of convenience, so make a trip yourself once month to choose your own treat
• Be ready to clip corners and coupons. I became an expert at searching ads and sale prices and knowing when a bargain is truly a bargain.
• Buy in bulk only when there is not a “best buy” date (unless you have a large family). Things like toilet paper and soap have great shelf lives so stock up when you find rock-bottom prices.
• Buy generic, especially when it comes to your staple items. Stores like Aldi’s carry many household basics at fractions of the cost (and the items often come from the same manufacturers, with different labels thrown on them).
• Find ways to be your own service-person. As the mother of 3 sons (one who grows hair like Sasquatch), I quickly realized that haircuts are one area where I can be the salon manager. I invested $24 in a quality “buzz kit” and found a friend who used to work in a salon to give me some quick lessons. Even if I only cut their hair once each year myself, I had paid for the buzz kit the first time I used it. Other ways you can do the job yourself include:
• Car washing
• Dog grooming
• Manicures/pedicures
• Housecleaning
• Yard maintenance
• Simple home repairs (before we ever consider calling in a repair man we check online – someone somewhere else has always had the same problem and posted their solutions)
• Taxes (it can be intimidating the first year, but you can calm your fears by trying it yourself and then taking it in for review)
• Vehicle maintenance (even my 16 year old daughter has changed the oil in the car)
• Use online resources like Freecycle, Vegsource, FatWallet, and Ebates to make the most of your stay-at-home dollar.

Beyond the Budget: Hurdles for Stay-at-Home Moms

Yes – the finances are an obvious obstacle for parents who want to stay home with their children. However, there are other factors that can become hurdles as well, especially if we don’t go into the situation with both eyes wide open. Staying home with the kids has wonderful benefits, but there can be some hidden dangers along the way. If both partners are not on board with the decision you are setting yourself up for resentment and frustration, and much larger problems down the road.

• Make the budget together so there are no surprises.
• Set aside time to be a couple. You will need this even more once you start spending the majority of your time home with the demands of young children, but your partner will also need to know that you still have time and energy for him.
• Clearly set up the expectations of the household. Your partner might think that you staying home means you take on all of the household responsibilities, 7 days a week. If this is not your intention – be up front with it. Tell him you need him to help with dishes on the weekends or vacuuming on Saturday morning.
• Stay-at-home moms have large workloads that just sometimes go unrealized by partners, but approaching the situation calmly and respectfully is better than just wishing he would help more at bath-time but resenting him because he doesn’t.

Birds of a Feather

Find others who are stay-at-home parents for companionship and compassion (you will give and receive both!). Friends who also stay home with their kids are great resources for budget hints, time-saving strategies, and the latest free concerts for the toddlers on weekday morning. You can also take turns babysitting so each of you get that much needed sanity break (even if it is just to run to the grocery store).

The life of a stay-at-home mom is not very glamorous or sadly, highly respected, in many circles. You need to choose this path because it is your passion and because you truly feel it is right for your family. If you do, maybe in the end you will find that it is your dream job, just like I did.

Related posts:

1. Is Your Child Ready to Stay Home Alone?
2. Coping with the Challenges of a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)
3. Are All Stay At Home Mom’s Equal?

WAHM.com

WAHM.com is one of the most popular sites for work-at-home moms, and it covers a wide variety of employment types, from cloud commuting in the business world to running home day-cares. One of the perks of this site is for work-at-home moms who want to find out whether or not an online job is legitimate or not. Moms can ask questions and get feedback before pursuing questionable jobs, and there are also recommended jobs available. It provides a great way to connect with other WAHMs and find useful tips for networking.

Home Business Magazine

The Home Business Magazine is a valuable resources available both in print and digital form, and includes articles about real people working from home. While it is not specifically geared toward work-at-home moms, but adults in general, it does include extensive information on everything from technology know-how to financing options to ways to balance it all at home.

Volunteer Opportunities

This one might puzzle you, but don’t be too skeptical. If you are a work-at-home mom or want to pursue that path, volunteering in the community serves three great purposes. The first is that it gives you an endeavor outside of the home where you can feel you are contributing to the community and it gives you a humbling way to recharge your batteries. The second is less obvious. It is an amazing way to network and learn more about opportunities in your area, often with professionals in your community. The boards and donators of many local non-profits are also often established business owners and managers. The third benefit of volunteering for work-at-home moms is that you can keep your skills fresh or learn new ones to add to your resume. As a writer and editor I use my skills to help non-profits with publishing, but the possibilities are endless with whatever career you are pursuing.

Larger Local Businesses

Connecting to larger local businesses in your area as a business person is not only valuable for networking, but can provide you with more options for outsourced work and telecommuting. Sometimes it is just a matter of letting someone within the company know you are available to work from home by completing a formal job application and indicating so. Businesses can benefit from outsourcing because they save on insurance costs and you don’t require your own office space.

Comrades at Home

Birds of a feather flock together, and this is sometimes epitomized when moms get together and their “real jobs” are discussed. I’ve been all 3 – a working mom, a stay-at-home mom, and a work-at-home mom. Currently I homeschool my children, am the domestic engineer of our household (it even says so on my coffee cup), and work part-time at home as a writer and editor. Having worn all three hats at some point in my mothering journey, I can attest that moms can be quite defensive and judgmental when it comes to the definition of work. I feel fortunate that I have wandered all of these roads at some point so that I have the perspectives I have now. But no matter which path you choose as a mom, it is important to have allies.

Work-at-home moms need thick skins and good friends. It is almost impossible for someone who hasn’t taken on this type of role to understand how it feels to intertwine business and family. The lines of a home office can become very blurred, and it is important to have allies who know what it is like to have children waiting outside the door while you finish a phone call, or the immense peace that comes over you when it is finally quiet at 11:00p.m and you can get some work done. If you are a work-at-home mom, make sure you surround yourself with supportive friends who share similar challenges and triumphs.

• Attend chamber meetings and small business meetings in your community to meet others.
• Join online forums where you can discuss anything from how to get dinner ready while preparing invoices or how to type with one hand and snuggle a baby with the other.
• Hang a notice at your local library inviting other work-at-home moms to meet for coffee once a month.
• Trade off with other work-at-home moms on things like driving the kids or a quiet afternoon once a week to do errands or work.
• Be supportive – of all moms.

Related posts:

1. Surviving and Thriving as the New Generation Work-at-Home Mom
2. The Wars of the Work-at-Home Mom
3. How to Find Work-at-Home Jobs Online

Watching a news clip recently reminded me about the importance of encouraging our children to become entrepreneurs. Carl Schramm, co-president of the Kaufman Foundation, reports that it is encouraging news that there is “huge enthusiasm among kids to start businesses.” This enthusiasm, while not enough to immediately improve the economy, is vital for the future of developing businesses in this country. Suddenly I feel a little pressure to make sure that as a parent I don’t squash one iota of entrepreneurial spirit that my kids are displaying.

Help Kids to Chase Their Entrepreneurial Dreams

No pressure. Just the fate of the modern world balancing on our shoulders to help raise children who can successfully become entrepreneurs – be their own bosses and make their marks in the world, all while positively impacting the national and global economy. OK – there doesn’t need to be that much pressure, but parents do need to be that support system that will allow kids to become entrepreneurs.

Encourage the spirit. If you have a child who wants to sell lemonade, homemade stickers, old baseball cards, or even pet rocks, encourage him to try. Even if the thought of running your own business is foreign or unappealing to you, give room for your child to explore this option.

Don’t stop your child from failing. Failure is one of the best teachers in life. Eons ago during my own childhood my older sister (I think she was about 6) wanted to earn money. Her grand plan was to sell newspapers. Old newspapers from a rusty red wagon. And we were the second to last house on a dead-end country road, and weren’t allowed to leave the end of the driveway. But my parents let her load her wagon with every old newspaper she could find and pace the driveway. Of course no customers ever came, but she learned that not all plans work as dreamed, but it doesn’t mean you have to stop dreaming. If you don’t let your child fail, she won’t know how to improve her approach and plans next time.

Help find answers. You don’t have to be a small business owner to teach your child how to be an entrepreneur. Help them learn how to find answers to their questions. Start with the library, your local small business association, and Better Business Bureau. There are some great books geared toward kids, such as Kidbiz: Everything You Need to Know to Start Your Own Business.

Be a subtle guiding hand. When my daughter wanted to prepare and sell dog treats to raise money for a non-profit, I was concerned about the legal issues. I suggested she contact the FDA, who in turn steered her to the USDA. At first she was told she could do this as long as 100% of the proceeds went to the non-profit. It turns out this was a learning curve for her and her contact with the USDA however, as she was later contacted and told she could bake and sell nothing – not even at an old fashioned craft and bake sale. Apparently there are more strict guidelines on dog food than on some human foods! While she was extremely disappointed, she learned a valuable lesson about the intricacies of the law and the importance of covering your business basics.

Teach your child some lessons about finances. You don’t need to dictate how and where to spend the money, both for supplies and from profit, but you should start with some real world examples of expenses and income. If your child needs start-up money make sure that you only provide it in the form of a loan to be paid back upon first profits earned or through other specific means if the venture would fail. These are real plans with real consequences – real life teaching real money management lessons.

Who Becomes an Entrepreneur?

Perhaps it is because we homeschool our kids that they are used to independent processes, or they see me work-at-home part-time and are drawn to the flexibility and rewards of it. Maybe it is because they have seen their father run his own part-time business from home that they can’t imagine a career completely dictated by someone else.

While I never set out to directly teach my kids to have an entrepreneurial sense, it does appear that I have fallen precisely into the statistics. Reports indicate that the anatomy of entrepreneurs is very much mirrored in my home. The typical adult entrepreneur is married, has children, and a solid educational foundation, and does not necessarily come from a home where parents were entrepreneurs. Research also shows that parents do play a role in at least encouraging their kids to explore the possibilities of running their own companies.

Preparing our kids for their futures and their future possibilities as entrepreneurs is no easy task. I guess I had better prepare for more worm farms (yes – one son has done that) and online marketing. The future of the economy depends on it. Gulp.

Related posts:

1. Raising Your Daughter to be Superwoman
2. Are You Raising an Overprotected Wimp?
3. Tips for Raising a Confident Child

Kids really do seem to grow like weeds some days, and as a mom to 4 kids I can spend more money on shoes for them than my electric bill. Between those boys of mine who feel the need to slide in the grass, no matter what they’re wearing, and my daughter who likes to have fun with and experiment with different outfits, my time and purse can be stretched when it comes to finding clothes for them at prices that aren’t scary. Over the years I have found several ways to have fun with creating their wardrobes with them without giving up their college funds.

Inventory

If you don’t know what is in the closet, you won’t know what to shop for their wardrobes. Each season I make an assessment of the clothes in the closet, and make sure they still fit the kids. If it just barely fits in October and you need it to last until April, be prepared to look for a replacement sometime soon. Keep a list of what each child needs so that when it goes on sale, you find it at a consignment shop, or your Aunt Annie wants a gift idea you know just what is needed.

Also keep a list of sizes for each child, especially important if you have several kids. Two of my sons are so close in size and age that I take a mini-magic marker and mark on the tags of their jeans their first initial. It makes laundry time so much easier and when I inventory things I know exactly who has what.

Never Pay Full Price

No matter how much money I have had, or not had, throughout my life, I have never just chosen to pay full price for something. Children’s clothing is one area where you can almost always find it on sale somewhere, which is why inventorying their clothes is so important. I always find brand names, high end fashions, and even socks go on sale at certain points every season. The key is to have patience and learn when your favorite stores post their best deals.

You can also save on money for your kids’ clothes when you shop ahead in sizes at the ends of seasons. This fall I found some great t-shirts and shorts for my boys at amazingly low prices, but we live in a cold climate and I knew they didn’t need them right now (or for several months). I bumped up a size for each and stocked up, setting them aside for the warmer spring months.

Shop Online

This is probably my least favorite way to shop for clothes for my kids, only because a couple of my kids are so tactile that unless I can feel the fabric, I’m not sure I want to invest in the clothing for them. Kids’ clothing is also so hard to size sometimes that unless it is a pair of leggings it is almost impossible to accurately choose a size for a brand or style we haven’t had yet.

However, online shopping has its advantages, especially if you look for coupon codes or use sites like PriceGrabber. Sometimes if I find a pair of great jeans for my child at the store, I can go online and find the same brand and size at a lower price. Online buying and selling for kids’ clothes is a popular way to recycle through wardrobes. Everything from Ebay to app alerts can let that parents can find great clothes for their kids and save a few bucks in the process.

Consider Secondhand

I feel very fortunate to live in a community where second hand shops are considered trendy and environmentally friendly. You can drive 5 miles and find 5 secondhand stores, all with different strengths. Not every second hand store has quality merchandise, but there are a few things to look for if you are shopping at a thrift store.

• Always check the zippers, buttons, and other fasteners (even the top button you’ll never use).
• Hold up the garment in different lighting to check for marks or stains.
• Ask about a return policy.
• To save time shop in thrift stores that organize clothing by size, style, and even color.
• Know your brand names and comparable prices when purchased new.

My children, especially my daughter, actually prefer to shop second hand sometimes over the mall. The reason? She knows she has a budget either way, but she loves to mix and match outfits and have a few fun things in her wardrobe. She gets more bang for her buck shopping secondhand. Then she also knows that she can use “leftover” funds for a few special things at her favorite stores in the mall.

There are two other great lessons for my kids when we shop second hand: they learn the importance of reusing and recycling, and they learn the value of supporting second hand stores which are often community based organizations.

Swap

I find swaps with other parents as one of the easiest and least expensive options. I have always offered my children’s clothes to my niece and nephews, and eventually this moved beyond family to involve a mini network of families. I think it started when I had more clothes from my daughter than my niece needed or wanted, so I offered the extras to a family I knew for their daughter. I unknowingly opened the door for others to offer me clothes from their kids, in a disorganized shuffle of kids’ clothes. This can be a thrifty way to get some great clothes for your kids, but you have to be very flexible and not the least offended if the other families don’t just love the purple sweater that used to be your daughter’s favorite.

• Only give to others what you would still put in your own child’s closet if it were the right size.
• Don’t give away dirty, torn, stained, or otherwise disheveled clothing.
• Let the family know that it is OK if they don’t want to keep everything. They can pass it on to someone else or donate it to a thrift store (that’s where all of mine would end up if I didn’t swap).
• Don’t be offended if your favorites aren’t their favorites.
• Don’t offer the clothes and then ask for or expect money in return. Have a garage sale or go to a consignment shop if you want reimbursement.
• Be certain the family you offer clothes to doesn’t see it as a charitable action. There are plenty of families who swap clothes and can afford to shop in any store, but there are also families who have a hard time letting their pride step aside for receiving clothing.
• Be thankful for any received clothes. My kids think it’s almost like Christmas to get a bag from my friend filled with cool shirts her son has outgrown.

Shopping for kids clothes doesn’t have to break your budget. Get creative and consider unique ways to bring a little style into their wardrobes. Your wallet and their college funds will thank you.

Related posts:

1. 7 Tips for a Great Family Vacation on the Road
2. Fifteen Great Benefits of Child Behavior Therapy
3. Rediscover the Joys of Extended Family with Your Kids

Working from home became my end goal as two things happened: my children grew older and my expense lists grew longer. Add into those things a yearning for contributing more to the family finances and the sense of accomplishment that brings to me and I began my journey. Deciding to pursue working from home, often while also raising children, is a large enough decision by itself. Deciding, it turns out, is the easier job – find the work can be more challenging.

Cloud commuting is the modern twist on telecommuting. Where is once seemed a luxury to spend an extra day or two working at home each week instead of commuting to the office, cloud commuting means the home is the office, and often the client and the provider never meet in other than the virtual world. While this is a strange, convoluted notion for my grandmother, it is the opportunity that my mother never had. It is the ability to work at home, on my own schedule, and around the lives of my family – who are still my top priority.

First 3 Steps for Working at Home

There are important lessons I have learned over the years when it comes to working from home on the cloud commuting bus, and doing it without losing my sanity or wasting my time. The first 3 steps that can help you develop your plan include:

1. Make goals. You won’t be able to make decisions if you don’t know the purposes for making them.
2. Determine a minimum amount of money you need or want to contribute to the finances – realistically.
3. Determine a maximum of hours you can spend working from home, including paperwork, invoices, and seeking or maintaining connections.

These 3 steps are essential to working at home as a cloud commuter successfully. If you determine that you want to earn $1000 each month, you need to compare that with how many hours you can devote each week to reaching that goal. Stay at home moms and dads are busy people. I have met many who don’t feel they have any more than 12 hours each week to spend working from home. This calculates into 48 hours each month. In order to earn $1000 in one month, you would need to find a job that pays roughly $21/hour. Now that you have your goals set, it is time to move on to finding those jobs.

Getting Ready to Work from Home

Update your resume and portfolio. Legitimate employers will want to see your resume, work history, or work samples. They probably won’t ever meet you in person, so they need to make sure that your virtual version is capable.

If you earned a degree long before the kids came along, go back and add in those additional skills and experiences you have acquired since, including things like CPR training, leadership certificates you earned through church, or classes you helped teach through community education. They fill in gaps on your resume and show a continued interest in education.

Make a list of targeted job possibilities. These could range from anything in the following:

• Computer programmer
• App developer
• Ad copy writer
• Transcriptionist
• Ghostwriter
• Blogger
• Editor/proofreader
• Tutorial services
• And an endless list of cloud commuting possibilities

Searching for Online Work

For many parents who stay home and try to pursue additional work (this time paid), the first place they turn is the internet. While there are a host of possibilities and options, not all are legitimate, and many don’t pay nearly enough to provide you with the means to reach your goal.

Be careful. Potential employers who ask for your money in order to proceed through a hiring a process are not going to be your ticket to financial freedom. Be wary of employers who advertise “no experience necessary” and who don’t actually tell you what you are going to be asked to do. Legitimate companies and employers will want to make the most of their advertising dollar and bring in people who best fit their needs.

Think back. When I decided that I wanted to pursue working from home on a more regular, consistent basis, I went back way too many years to count and reached out to my one client I met while in college. I let him know that I was ready for editing work if he needed any completed, and asked him to spread my name and contact information if he heard of colleagues who were searching for editing services as well. This was my little nudge that got the ball rolling and the editing work trickling in, and for new clients I met through my original contact. All of this was done online, in my cloud commuting world.

Set yourself up for success. Make sure that you have the tools necessary to complete your work as efficiently as possible. One distinct difference between working in an office and working from home is that you have to create your own space that supports your goals. Make sure your computer has the programs you need, you have peripherals like printers and faxes, and your workspace is organized. You don’t want to fumble through your grocery lists and PTA forms to find the information a client needs.

Be ready to be rejected. Don’t expect to apply for a job that meets your financial and time commitment needs and be accepted on the first try. Just as you are searching for that perfect work-at-home job, so are millions of other people. In the cloud commuting world you are also competing on an international level, and your expectations for payment might not be anywhere near the going rates in other countries.

Be open to starting out small, but ready to quickly move ahead. As you compete in a global online job market community you need to be open to the possibility of taking on a lower-end job just to get your name, experience, and virtual ranking established. Don’t keep a habit of this though, or potential clients can see that you are willing to work for little and won’t be jumping up to give you more.

While there are many sites that cater to those wanting to join the ranks of cloud commuters, sometimes the best bet is to contact trustworthy employers directly. Don’t underestimate the power of networking, and keep pounding on those virtual doors. If you are stuck on getting started, try some of the following sites, but beware of scammers and low-ball job bidding.

• guru
• oDesk
• Elance
• iFreelance
• gofreelance

Related posts:

1. How to Work at Home with Teenagers in the House
2. Surviving and Thriving as the New Generation Work-at-Home Mom
3. The Wars of the Work-at-Home Mom

The Language of Money

Have you ever found yourself saying, “I can’t buy that for you – I don’t have the money” or “that is too much money” when your child begs for that amazingly awesome alien that spits green goo? Those answers might seem like easy, harmless ways to teach children about money management, but you might be doing more harm than you realize.

The language you use about money tells your child how money fits into your life and your decisions. While the truth might be that you don’t have extra money to spend on the green goo spitter, you do two things that set your kids up for failure when you give answers like the examples above.

1. You indicate that if you actually had the money, that you would buy the toy. Is this really the truth? Do you really want a green goo spitter in the house? Does your child really need another toy to add to the clutter? I’m guessing that most of us still would not randomly just buy the latest fad toys to fill our homes, even if we had the means to spend frivolously at our disposal.
2. You teach your child that money gives you power, and you are powerless without it. While some of us might nods our head and say yes, the world does work that way, it is important for our kids to learn that we still have the power to control our financial decisions. Even if we only have $25 to our name, we still have the choice how to spend that money. We might know that we need it for food for our family – even though technically we could buy a new toy. It is about choices.

To answer the pleas for toys, trips to the mall, and endless dinners out it is better to be proactive. Start with the language you use about money and your own finances. The next time your child pleads for that toy in the window, put yourself in control of the situation and the money. Say something such as:

That toy costs $(fill in with amount of money). I am not going to choose to spend my money on the toy. It is not a need that our family has right now. If it is something you truly want, you can save your money for it.

Identifying Needs vs. Wants

Using this type of approach gives you the control over your money, and it also helps distinguish for your kids the differences between needs and wants. When your children hear you openly discussing the differences they learn to identify those in their own lives.

• Create an age appropriate list of the needs of the family (shelter, food, insurance, etc.).
• Create another age appropriate list of the wants in your family (newer vehicle, vacation, cable/satellite television, membership to the museum, etc.).
• Help your kids identify which ones are priorities.
• Give your children real world examples of how much each of these items on both lists cost.

Help Your Children Create a Budget

Money management is difficult to teach effectively unless your children have access to their own or are openly involved in family finances. Helping them create a budget, even at very young ages, can be one of the best lifelong gifts you can give your child. Remember – it is about developing a sense of power and control over the finances and not letting the money control you.

• Give your kids access to money, whether it is their allowance, birthday money, or cash earned from chores in the neighborhood.
• Give your kids opportunities to spend money – it is the only way they can understand how to use it. If you always keep their money and never let them spend it, they won’t learn how to budget.
• Set up some guidelines for spending, saving, and giving. One way to do this is to say 1/3 for saving, 1/3 for spending, and 1/3 for giving (charity, church offerings, birthday gifts for friends/siblings).
• Discourage spending on whims. Kids who bring money to the mall usually end up spending money at the mall, even if they never had any focused intention of spending it. I have my children plan their purchases and the younger ones aren’t allowed to just bring money “in case” while we are shopping. Our rule is 24 hours to plan for small purchases and 3 days for larger purchases. My kids rarely go back and buy the item they thought they couldn’t live without after they have had time to think about it.
• Teach your kids about savings accounts, interest, and real world situations of bills and financial responsibility. Show them the electric bill or take a poll to see who can estimate to the closest amount how much money insurance is each month.
• Be a good role model. Our children soak in our spending habits like a dry sponge set out in a rainstorm. Remember to use proactive and positive language that reaffirms that while money is necessary for many things in our life, we are the ones who are in control of the decisions about how to spend it, how to save it, and how to use it best.

Related posts:

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Ways to Stay Prepared for the Workplace as a Stay-at-Home Mom

Volunteer in the community.

Volunteering is a great way to stay connected with other adults and can bring you the connections you might need in the future. Businesses, both local and national, are behind many charities, so developing relationships with businesses can actually be a very natural side effect of volunteering. These relationships can introduce you to fascinating people, and be the bridges you might need for future employment.

You might be thinking – When would I have even a minute to volunteer? Look for something you can do with your kids or find a mom who is willing to swap you volunteer time each month. When I had very young kids in the house it was a great experience for us to share as a family volunteering and it gave them valuable lessons. We would visit residents in nursing homes (they love to see babies!), participate in community performances, or help at church together. Even 3 hours a month can get you into the community, and even give you experience you can add to a job résumé. Some volunteering you can even do from the comfort and space of your own home, such as giving web support, stuffing envelopes, or making a few calls.

Take up a new hobby or enjoy an old one.

As a stay-at-home mom you still need to take time for yourself, something that can be easier said than done, but is vitally important to your sanity and ability to refresh your outlook. It can also be an amazing way to stay connected for your future. One friend of mine took a cake decorating class as a fun adventure, and when her kids became older, began to teach the classes herself. She could also double as the mom who brought the best cakes for birthday parties and other activities! If you are a writer, join a writing group, even online, and spend even one hour each week or two honing your craft and connecting with others in your field. Hobbies keep our skills fresh and connect us to others with the same interests.

Don’t stay at home!

As the homeschooling, stay-at-home mother of four kids I am used to the questions from people – Do you get out of the house? In reality, I treasure the rare occasions where we do get to stay home, even for less than 24 hours! Go to places like the library, gym classes for moms and tots, and community education activities. You get to meet great families, share adventures with your kids, break up the monotony, and keep your ears and eyes open to the world around you.

Network.

There are lots of small things you can do to build your network and keep you informed and involved in your passions and your future career possibilities.

• Sign up for that college newsletter from your alma mater and read about the advancements in your field of study.
• Keep in contact with people who are in the workplace, even though you might find yourself gravitating only to other moms.
• Take a class or two through a local community college or online college.
• Offer to lead one or some of your kids’ groups. This can be a great way to meet other adults and can be a résumé booster to add leadership skills.
• Read about your interests – staying current is one of the most important things you can do and it will help keep you connected to others in the field.

The decision to stay at home with your kids is an amazing one. I made that same decision more than 12 years ago and never regretted it. I did learn along the way, however, the importance of keeping one tiny toe in the doorway of employment. I have now gone from stay-at-home mom to part-time work-at-home mom, all while homeschooling, and find myself with a future I am excited about, even after the kids fly from the nest.

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3. Is Your Child Ready to Stay Home Alone?

Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom, or mom who works outside of the home, you still carry the unofficial job title of Mom. This most important job title, however, is rarely seen with the respect that is deserves when it comes to the actual workload that it includes, especially if that job title of Mom isn’t preceded by another formal title. No matter how far society has come (or gone), there simply is not a high level of honor placed on the Mom title – it is placed on Technician, Doctor, or Administrator. Anything but Mom.

Experts in wage compensation over the past decade have been looking more closely at how much a mom’s time is worth, using some of the most common tasks as a base guideline. Moms do work as doctors, nurses, office assistants, janitors, teachers, and more every day. They just don’t get paid like it. Research shows that moms, no matter if they work full time out of the home, part-time from the home, or are dedicated full-time stay-at-home moms, all work roughly 97 hours each week when everything is calculated.

You can actually use a salary wizard to calculate, based on how many hours each week you spend as an employee, a mom, and in between, doing various tasks, what your Mom Paycheck would be if you had to hire someone else to do those same jobs. While you can’t cash the check in the bank, perhaps you can cash it in your mental bank for those times of self-doubt when you might wonder how much exactly you are contributing. Better yet, print a copy and casually leave it behind on the living room table for others in the house to see!   

The Energy of Moms

What can’t be calculated easily, however, is the mental energy required of a mom who is tasked with managing children and a family. While I know there are some amazing dads out there who have in many ways taken on the traditional role of Mom, statistics still show that moms are bearing the brunt of the family responsibilities, even when they work outside of the home.

Statistics actually show that of the estimated 98,000 dads who stay at home, only 16% do so to care for children (illness or disability account for 45%, inability to find a job is 11%, and 9% because they are going to school). Compare those with more than 88% of the more than 5 million mothers who stay home doing so to primarily care for their children. So, sorry amazing dads who take on the role of caring for kids – I know you are out there, but on this one I’m just going to focus on the moms.

Moms who stay home and take on the full time job of caring for family and the home, and those who also take on the role of work-at-home mom (yes – redundant), might be faced with the challenges of proving their worth. Add to the imbalance that the tangible jobs like driving children to 3 different practices each day don’t include the unseen. Moms are often also charged with the mental components of motherhood, some of the most difficult and time consuming parts of the job.

Examples of Moms’ Mental Energy

• Planning for well-baby check-ups, high school sports physicals, and bi-yearly trips to the dentist
• Being aware of the deadlines for extracurricular sign-ups, Girl Scout cookie orders, and science fair registration
• Making sure the kids get new gym shoes, haircuts, glasses for school, and the right kinds of snacks for class parties
• Knowing how much TV time is too much, where the rest of the socks disappeared to, and when was the last time the goldfish tank was cleaned
• Remembering to purchase “just in case” trinkets and gifts for teachers, birthday parties, and coaches
• Meeting and remembering their children’s friends and their friends’ parents, where they live, and which ones have allergies to the dog or the pizza you might serve

OK – so I know that these seem frivolous and perhaps insignificant, but they represent just a minute fraction of the kinds of information that mom are expected to carry with them, remember for instant recall, and act upon. Dads can do it – they just aren’t expected by society to do it at the drop of a hat or the blink of a child’s eye. The next time you wonder if your work as a mom is worth it, pull out your fake Mom Paycheck and take a deep breath. The work is real, the challenges are definite, and the rewards are absolute. At the end of the day the reason why moms don’t get a paycheck is because their work is priceless.

Related posts:

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2. Are You Ready to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom?
3. University of Mom

Raising smart shoppers starts early and is about more than just the grocery bill. Everything from food, to household items, to homes, and cars are all items your child will most likely consider purchasing at some point. Especially if he likes to eat. Start early and be smart about the shopping lessons you teach your child.

1. Take your child shopping. Often. I am always intrigued when I meet parents who practically refuse to take their children with them into the store, usually because they don’t want to hear the whines for treats or they want to zip through without stopping to gape at everything. Firsthand knowledge and experience is one of the strongest ways we have to teach our children, on any subject. When they shop with us they get a front row seat to the options on the shelves, the choices we make, and the experience of being a customer.
2. Shop together and engage your child in the shopping experience. Even young toddlers are aware of their surroundings enough to help you look for specific items on your list. I usually find that including my kids on my mission not only keeps them occupied, but the tasks I give them while shopping help them to become better shoppers. Even if the most we do is talk about the store decorations, communicating while we are shopping is important. Wandering the aisles is also a great time to point out marketing strategies, like putting everything fun, cool, and awesome right at the eye level of kids.
3. Make a list for you, and one for your child. I will usually take one large list for me, and then assign each child a few items from the list. Perhaps it will be their favorite foods or ingredients for their sleepover snacks. When we make shopping lists we can focus our attention on the items we need and our kids learn how to prepare before ever going into the store.
4. Compare prices and have your kids help you do the math. My kids find it a game to see which item is the better priced item, maybe getting more ounces for less money. They have also learned to check brand names and expiration dates, important factors in prices and whether or not the larger quantity will actually be a better deal. My 12 year old son loves to comparison shop between different brands to find the most economical choice, while still getting the quality we want or need.
5. Teach them how to read labels. Show them how to find out how many servings are actually in the box, and whether or not it actually has the ingredients that you want and need. This goes for more than just groceries. When you take kids clothes shopping, have them read the labels and make sure they know how to care for the items and whether or not special soaps will be required (or Heaven forbid – dry cleaning!). When shopping for games or anything electrical, check to see if batteries are included, and how many will be needed. All of these extras factor into pricing.
6. Take your child shopping with you for big ticket items. Tweens and teens might be the ones clamoring for the big screen TV, so bring them along to ask questions, determine quality and price ratios, and be witnesses to your informed decision. If you are in the market for a new vehicle, include them in the process so that they learn to understand how the process works and become better prepared for their own future purchases.
7. Teach them how to be good customers. I have a hard fast rule with my kids that they need to be respectful of the store or business in which we are shopping, and excellent customers for the salespeople and employees at the checkout line. If my kids want to know where something is in a store or have a question on an item, I have them ask the clerk themselves, politely requesting the information they need and thanking them for the assistance.
8. Give them a time-out rule for purchases. When my kids go shopping with me (which is usually every week), they know that spontaneous purchases can lead to lost cash. We encourage our kids to plan ahead for those fun purchases like collector cards or toys, and to think ahead of time about the purchase for at least 3 days. If they simply walk into a store planning to spend the $5 that has singed its way through their pockets, they will spend the $5, no matter what, often causing buyer’s remorse.
9. Discuss manufacturing with your kids and how it affects your purchases. Kids are smart – readers can already tell you that most of their toys are probably made overseas. Talk with them about why this is so, including the costs of manufacturing in different countries and labor laws and regulations. Bring into the conversation why quality matters, especially for certain purchases, and how to discern whether or not an item is worth the price.
10. Give them some money. OK – hopefully they can earn it somehow. It is really important that your child have even a minimal amount of cash with which to experiment – either saving, sharing, or spending – or hopefully a little of all three. Something magical happens when the money being spent is their own, and the lessons you have been teaching come full force to the check-out line. Suddenly they go from asking for everything to weighing their options carefully. And if your child is a spender, there is no faster lesson than to teach a child you can’t buy something when your pockets are empty.

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My aunt was our ‘daycare’ when my mom had meetings, worked, or ran errands, and my grandmother lived with us for a time so that we could attempt to provide her with care as she aged. My children have a sum total of 6 cousins, 2 of whom they only see once a year and with whom they don’t have a tangible relationship. How can my kids experience the benefits of relationships with extended family that I fondly remember? Apparently, families all around me are asking the same questions and finding answers in unexpected places.

The Shifting Family Structure

During the 1960’s and 1970’s, families began to live more independent lives, coinciding with the growth of suburbs and convenience of travel. Retired adults saw the benefits of government provided Social Security and medical services and were able to live independently for longer periods of time. The American cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead once said of this shift toward independent lives of nuclear families, “Nobody has ever before asked the nuclear family to live all by itself in a box the way we do.  With no relatives, no support, we’ve put it in an impossible situation.”

The recent economic downturn appears to be responsible in one way for bringing families closer together. A recent report in the New York Times reveals that foreclosures and job losses have been catalysts for extended families combining households and living under a shared roof. Families are finding similar benefits of sharing in family responsibilities and care that I saw my own parents utilize when I was a child. Families are sharing childcare duties, elder care responsibilities, and a financial sharing for household expenses. In 2008 there were 2.6 million more Americans living in multigenerational homes involving grandparents, aunts, uncles, or similar relations than just the year before.

The Joys and Benefits of Extended Family

I’m not saying I’m ready to move in with my extended family in order to provide my kids with close family bonds, but I do see positive benefits that can come from helping my kids form close bonds with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Extended family members…

… can provide a system of life lasting support for emotional and social needs.

… help kids learn about their ancestry.

… can be mentors to younger family members, often sharing similar values.

… are often the most important figures in a child’s life after their parents. According to one survey, 56% of children ranked their grandparents as influential factors in their lives, only above parents who were ranked influential by 86% of kids.

If your busy lives are like ours, the question becomes how can I make sure my kids have quality time with their extended family members so that they have the opportunities needed to foster these supportive relationships?

We have to make it a priority, and we have to make our extended families priorities. Dinners together, holiday memories, or even just an evening of hanging out in the backyard played baseball are valuable experiences for kids to share with their cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents.

Tonight we are blessed to be going to my brothers where the kids will swim with their cousins and eat brownies for dessert with their grandparents. We aren’t doing this because we didn’t have anything else to do. We are doing this because it is a valuable gift we can give our children.

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