College can be challenging enough for dedicated students, but attending college as a new mom adds a whole new twist to this academic venture. I hadn’t finished college before my first child was born, but I knew I wanted to complete my degree as soon as possible. Knowing what I wanted to do and finding the resources to accomplish that goal were at times oceans apart from each other.

For close to the first two years of my daughter’s life I was a college student. She sometimes attended classes with me, had her own backpack with toys and books, and was my faithful companion during late-night study sessions. Being a mom and a college student is not an easy task, but if you are committed to both of them, you can be successful at both. I actually found that non-traditional students like myself tended to be more responsible, reliable, and focused at college – we had to be. If you are considering going to college or going back to college as a parent, consider the following ideas that helped me get the degree I wanted (and am still glad I have).

Pick a Program

Make sure that the program you select to pursue is your passion. This advice is for anyone – but parents who go to college most likely don’t have the time or funds for “do overs”. If you are certain you want a college degree, make sure it is something you love and think the job market will reward you for in the near future.

When I first began college I wanted to be a social worker. However, as a new mom I also quickly learned the emotional toll that would take on me, especially understanding my own personality. I also knew that I wanted a degree that would enable me to have job flexibility and utilize my skills and passions. I had also watched friends flounder and eventually leave school because they didn’t have a specific passion or goal they were pursuing. When I reassessed my college goals I asked myself the following questions.

• Will this degree enable me to have employment without further training?
• If something happens to my partner will I be able to use this degree to support my child?
• Will this degree compliment me as a person (and as a mom)?
• Can I afford to go to school full-time and still be an involved mom, both financially and emotionally?
• How will my life be better because of this degree?
• How will my life be more challenging because of college?
• How will my child’s life be different because I am attending college?

Create a College Time Budget

If you think about your time like you think about your finances, you can budget the hours in your day and be less likely to fall into time debt – when you simply don’t have enough hours in the day to be a parent and student.

Consider your class schedule so that you account for 4 basic factors:

1. In-class time
2. Childcare time
3. Home time
4. Homework time

Some semesters I took night-classes 4 evenings each week so that my husband was home with our daughter. I did homework during her naptime as much as I could. Other semesters when this was not possible, I arranged my class schedules so that there were as few hours as possible spent on campus, and the extra hours in between classes were my study breaks. Then when I came home my attention was back on my family.

Consider Online Options Carefully

Way back in the day when I was attending college online classes were not prevalent and not even yet offered in my field. Today they offer many options, but you still need to consider several points.

Make certain that the online classes are from an accredited and recognized university.

If you are looking to supplement with online classes make sure that the credits earned will go toward your on-campus credits.

Don’t assume that college at home as a parent will be infinitely easier than taking on-campus classes. You still need to devote time to classes and homework, and just like being a work-at-home mom, it isn’t always as easy to carve away that time when you don’t physically leave the house.

Make a Homework Plan

My first semester of college as a mom was so much more difficult because I didn’t have a doable plan (unless you consider just waiting until my daughter fell asleep on my shoulder and studying while she slumbered in my arms).

Use in-between hours for homework – those times when you have breaks between classes are valuable minutes that you are already away from home and mom duties.

Consider paying a babysitter for 5 hours each week for homework time. I know the finances can be an issue, but in the long-run you will save your sanity and your grades.

Get creative with what you can do as a mom and student. I would bring my daughter to the library and spend the first half-hour reading and exploring with her, then as she tired put her in a baby-pack and do my own searching.

Host study groups. Toward the end of my college career I had to work on several group projects that required hours of outside collaboration. I invited classmates over and provided an easy meal and we did the studying at my home – allowing me to still participate as a student and as a mom.

Find Flexible Childcare

No matter how creatively you arrange your class schedules, there will most likely be times when you have to find childcare for school responsibilities – either classes, meetings, or finals. Formal daycare settings are not only expensive, but they rarely have the flexibility you need. I was extremely blessed to find a neighbor and friend who could watch my daughter when I had classes.

• Find a neighbor with whom you and your child are already comfortable and ask if they are interested in babysitting occasionally.
• Ask a stay-at-home mom. It can provide her with extra income without being a full-time commitment.
• Check with your college. Many of them have childcare programs for students.

Look for Scholarships

Attending college as a non-trad (non-traditional student) puts you apart from the rest. Look for scholarships where the goal is to support non-trads. Search for organizations like these that are specifically focused on providing funding to moms and single parents.

Is attending college while being a new mom easy? No. Was it the right choice for me? Absolutely. I earned the degree (Technical Writing/Computer Science) that supports my passion and now my ability to be a work-at-home mom. Just make sure the decision is right for you and your family – no one else can make that call for you.

Related posts:

1. How Much is a Mom Worth?
2. Challenges of Being a Working Mom
3. The Wars of the Work-at-Home Mom

Teenagers grow up quickly enough as it is, and then suddenly they are living much more independent lives with cars keys in hand. As worried as I am about my daughter every time she drives away, I am confident that her preparation was sound, both in driving classes and life experiences, and that my worries can further be eased by implementing a few more driver safety guidelines in our family.

Driver Education

Even though we homeschool, I readily put the responsibility and trust in another source to teach my daughter about the rules of the road from a technical standpoint. My children are probably pretty typical – they are sometimes more apt to listen and less apt to insert their own versions when they are listening to someone other than me – the mom. I wanted her to hear from police officers about road laws and safety. I wanted her to watch the videos that showed the real and immense dangers of car crashes. Yes – I wanted her scared – to a certain point.

If your teenager is ready for driver education, consider the following:

Your own driving – I have never been more conscious of my own driving than when I knew my daughter was paying close attention to my every move. No cell phone use for me and no speeding (even when I felt like I was at a snail’s pace). I even found myself talking out loud about why I made certain driving decisions – such as why I didn’t pass the farm machinery that was making us late.

Cost – Shop around, both for school programs, home programs, and accredited programs in your community. In our area the costs were about equal.

Training – While the costs might have been relatively the same, the experiences of the trainers were vastly different. In the school settings sometimes the driving instructor doubles as the gym coach, and is not a dedicated professional to this specific course. Then there was me – a newbie. For us the formal driving school offered the most experienced staff, and the best 1:1 ratio of learning (outside of home).

Reputation – Talk to other parents and listen to their experiences. We had several formal programs from which to choose, and by far the one we selected had the best reviews.

Driving Apps – Our daughter is using a pretty cool program from State Farm. One portion of it is a paper log the new driver completes with the participation of at least one parent that can later be used to receive insurance deductions. The other part, an app she has on her iPod, records things like acceleration, cornering, and time spent driving. I get a report emailed to me after her trips. Our daughter appreciated the feedback, especially since she doesn’t always have an adult with her for guidance. We appreciate the extra monitoring so we know how things are progressing for her with the newfound independence.

Driving Practice

The first time my daughter drove with her permit, I felt like my mom. My invisible gas and brake pedals on the passenger side were fully engaged as she drove. Even though at first I wished I could close my eyes, I was able to relax myself enough to be the calm, nurturing driving instructor seated next to her. Fortunately for both of us, she is a very cautious driver (maybe those videos helped do the trick!). For more than 6 months we practiced (yes – I needed to practice giving up my invisible pedals).

Start small – The first places our daughter drove with her permit were country back roads with little or no traffic. It is enough for them to get the feel of the wheel; they don’t need rush hour to add to the pressure.

Be calm – I admit that the first few times on the road I opted for my husband to sit next to my daughter in the front seat, leading her way. I managed not to be a backseat driver (but I had my eyes closed a few times).

Gradually add in experiences – We moved from back road driving to city driving, but made sure that we eased into it during times of low-traffic levels. She didn’t practice driving at night for the first few weeks, either. We also eased in winter driving – a Midwest treat with icy and snowy roads.

The sound of silence – She had 3 younger brothers along for many of the rides, but we implemented a low-noise rule when she drives. No or low radio, and no or low sounds from brothers. She’ll have plenty of years to drive with distractions being thrown at her.

Constructive criticism – There were times when my daughter needed gentle reminders or clarifications while driving. I made every effort to deliver these is a quiet tone. Sometimes I waited until she finished driving to go over decisions she made so as not to distract her from her driving.

Affirmation – I will never forget the day we were cruising along at 55 mph with my teen at the wheel. Another driver pulled out directly in front of us to cross the road. My daughter slammed on the brakes, very aware of the situation, even managing to check her review mirror to see if we were in danger from being hit from behind for such an abrupt change of speed. Things went flying off of van seats, but my daughter’s cool remained intact. We narrowly avoided a crash. I gave my child affirmation that she did everything right, and praised her quick actions and choices. As frightening as it was, it gave us a great opportunity to talk about how distracted driving can quickly change things, and you have to be just as concerned about the other drivers. If she had been using a cell phone or otherwise distracted, her reactions would not have been so quick.

More Ways to Prepare My Teenager Driver

As my daughter took the keys for her first time alone, suddenly knowing the road rules weren’t enough. I tried to make sure that she was prepared for anything and everything, and I included the more obvious rules. As she smiled and half-laughed at my mothering, I told her that if she gets to use the car, I get to pretend to be my mom once again!

• No cell phones – at all.
• You must only drive to the destinations we have discussed (today was school, church, and home).
• Upon your arrival you need to text me, and do so again before you leave your destination, and again when you arrive. Basically be your own GPS.
• You may not give a ride to anyone.
• If you are worried you are being followed, drive to a crowded destination with lots of people outside.
• Park under a street light or in a well-lit area, especially if it will be twilight or dark when you enter or exit your car.
• Always lock your car – preferably without leaving the keys in it.
• Always have back-up cash for emergencies.
• Know how to fill the car with gas – and don’t leave it on empty for me!
• When you walk to and from your car, pay attention to your surroundings and keep your keys in your hand (they double as a weapon if needed).
• Come back home. We love you aren’t quite ready for you to let your wings take you too far.

Related posts:

1. Is Your Child Ready to Stay Home Alone?
2. Sleepovers? Deciding if Your Child is Ready.
3. Why Your Child Needs Art

1. Homeschooled students
2. Post-secondary enrollment option students
3. Students who play musical instruments

No matter which type of classroom she enters, my daughter has been met with this same sentiment from instructors. Part of me cringes when I hear her report this back because I don’t want her to think that she will have an easy ride (she fits the bill on all three). However, I know that what these professors tell their students is true – in order to succeed in college it takes a unique skill set that public and many private high schools simply do not provide for students. College is no longer the absolute key to a successful future. In fact, far too many students feel they simply need to go to college because that has been the long-standing expectation. College does not guarantee anything, other than debt for most, and it does require skills that aren’t on any high school class syllabi. This article is not about the merit of a college education – the arguments both ways are long and just. However, for students like my daughter who have passions and end goals that do require a college degree (as in the medical field – we don’t need undertrained yuppies with scalpels), achieving those goals in higher education can be challenging. There are several key sets of skills that college students need to develop before they enter their first campus classroom if this educational journey is to be of any value.

1. Self-awareness
2. Self-monitoring skills
3. Financial literacy
4. Real study habits
5. Questioning minds
6. Real world work skills
7. Academic adeptness

Self-Awareness

It is so sad to hear students talk about the fact that they truly don’t know why they are in college (other than Mom and Dad said to go) and they aren’t really pursuing a passion. I wouldn’t even spend $45 on a pair of jeans if I didn’t love them, why would you consider thousands on classes you don’t know will help support your dreams? College can be a great decision for those who have a directed passion that requires the degree, but can also be a complete drain of time and finances for students who are “maybe thinking about being in business” as I recently heard one kid say. College isn’t the time to think about passions – it is the place to pursue them, especially at today’s costs. Before checking out the dorms or buying books, students should:

• Know how the degree will or won’t help support their careers
• Know how versatile their degree might be
• Know if this is their own passion or if college is on someone else’s list of goals

Self-Monitoring Skills

College is less structured than typical high schools, leading to some of the biggest problems for college freshmen. Students must be able to get to class on time, attend class (novel idea for some), and prepare for class as if it is really helping them reach their goals. All too often public high schools don’t require students to truly be responsible for their own behaviors. Schools send virtual notes to parents about everything from late papers to who is running low on glue-sticks, and students are rarely actually in charge of their own high school courses. They are tracked, placed in classes, and handed a 4 year-plan without consultation. College is suddenly a freedom they can’t handle.

Financial Literacy

On my daughter’s campus there is a huge discrepancy between the students who have financial literacy and those who don’t. It is a private college and either the students are there with financial support from parents, or they understand the value of their dollar and want to make sure it is used to the very last fraction of a cent. However, financial literacy goes beyond understanding the cost/benefit ratio of college expenses. It is directly related to students truly knowing about the nuts and bolts of paying bills, investing, and what to really do with a paycheck. High schools often fail to teach these skills because the classes are taught on textbooks, not real life. It is left the parents to teach these skills, and they are often relying on home economics classes to get the job done. If you want to teach your child about financial literacy, be open about real financial decisions within the family and introduce them to people in their potential fields of interest who can let them know what to expect. Better yet – make sure your kids are in charge of their money – it is too easy to spend Dad’s and not think much about it.

Real Study Habits

This one seems to really exemplify why professors would call on homeschoolers and musicians. They have developed skills largely independent of constant direction and are capable of self-directed learning because they really have no other choices. In our homeschool the goal is to learn how to learn – and that doesn’t come from following state standards on boxed curriculum sets. That is called regurgitation.

Questioning Minds

By the time a typical student graduates from high school, he has probably been told thousands of times precisely how to complete the homework and accumulate the necessary information. College strips that away and presents students with broad concepts, but doesn’t tell them everything they need to know each step of the way. In order to really gleam knowledge in college students need to know how to ask questions and become partners in learning instead of passive bodies in the desks.

Real-World Work Skills

Communicating with people of all ages, abilities, and from all walks of life isn’t a skill that is imprinted in high school where students are segregated by age and social classes. Teachers are amazing people, but they just can’t be everything to every student. If a high school student is interested in broadcast journalism (like my son), sitting in a classroom with a teacher who has never done this trade can’t provide those real-world skills. Instead, parents need to help their kids find mentors and opportunities to grow these skills outside of the high school classroom.

Academic Adeptness

Let’s be real – it is really hard to get into a good college with failing or substandard high school grades. However, the classes on the transcript aren’t the only things admission offices look at for acceptance. In fact, one of the prevailing guidelines my daughter faced when applying was minimum test scores on college entrance exams. High school grades were never really a factor. For this one instance, studying how to take a test well can pay off (although it is my absolute least favorite criteria).

Getting into college can be like a game, and staying in it can be like a race. If our kids don’t know where the finish line is for the race there really seems no point in running them ragged to get there. Parents need to proactively find ways for their kids to acquire these 7 skills outside of typical high school walls (and quit assuming everything is addressed by graduation). For more ideas on how to prepare your children well, check out some of these ideas.

Related posts:

1. The Skill High School Grads Should Master… Or Forever Be Manipulated
2. The College Conspiracy: Should You Send Your Kids To College?
3. The High Court Rules: Kids Should Have Access to Violent Video Games

Waiting for Superman

This journey of education in America was analyzed in Waiting for Superman, produced by Davis Guggenheim, and takes the viewer on a voyeuristic expedition through the educational paths of several children, many of whom are attending struggling schools. Guggenheim, able to and sending his children to better schools, was still struck by the reality that for many children, there are no other choices. His documentary is an attempt to highlight the challenges that American schools face and put personal emphasis on the children who are at risk.

Throughout Waiting for Superman there are several themes about the struggles, and dangers, of American education.

• The power of politicians as exemplified with “No Child Left Behind” and other grand plans that never quite made the grade.
• The power of teachers unions. I admit I was shocked to find that they are responsible for funneling more lobbying money than any other group. Unions spend almost 3x as much money on political campaign ads as all other corporations taken together.
• The dangers of tenure, which originated as a way to give fair and equal opportunities and pay to women and minority teachers. Anyone who has been in a classroom with a teacher or professor who spends more time reading the newspaper, having students watch movies, or seeming as if he couldn’t be more bored has probably met a tenured teacher.
• The mismanagement of money that does go to schools. Money isn’t everything when it comes to building effective educational systems, but it is necessary.
• The inability of school systems to keep progressing with global education requirements.
• Guggenheim’s documentary is an effort to spark energy for improving the education system in America, and he is attempting to do this by bringing us into the personal lives of several children, some of whom we watch crumble under the reality that they weren’t selected in the lottery system to attend a decent school.

Changing Paradigms

Another education advocate, Sir Ken Robinson, took another approach in Changing Paradigms to highlighting the failing education approach in our country. He partnered to create this animate video that truly is an eye-opener when it comes to the struggles our children face in their educational endeavors.

Robinson discusses the various ways in which our educational systems are outdated, ineffective, and underperforming. Some of them include:

• The current educational system was designed for the economic needs of the time during the age of the Enlightenment and the Industrial Revolution. It is outdated for modern society.
• Education systems are failing for two reasons – economic and cultural. It is difficult to prepare children for an economic future when we don’t know what that future will be like. Cultures are trying to maintain their cultural identities, yet still teach children on a global scale.
• College no longer guarantees a job, especially a good job.
• The current education system is based on a narrow definition of the mind – you are either intelligent academically or you’re not. This preconceived idea has caused countless children to fail in school.
• There is a plague of diagnoses of ADHD in our schools. The incidences of ADHD have risen in parallel with the increases of standardized testing.
• Children today are living in the most stimulating environments ever. Technology means our children are inundated with constant streams of information, yet in the classroom they are expected not to be distracted and to absorb information the same way it was presented decades ago.

Academic Challenges and Changes

I homeschool my children precisely because of many of the reasons presented in these two sources. I remember telling someone who was questioning my decision that I just didn’t like the idea of my children being subject to the result of a crap shoot. Teachers, school districts, classmates, and a myriad of other factors beyond a parent’s control can mean the difference between success and failure for students. However, just because I homeschool doesn’t mean that I turn a blind eye to the struggles of educational systems. I still support local school districts, form relationships with the activities within them, and work to be proactive among the students in my community.

After all that is said, it still isn’t enough. Educational reform will take more than people caring. It will require an inside-out response that will make us uncomfortable. The educational system as we know it feels safer than the unknown for many people. But in order for real progress to occur, somewhere along the way we need to take the bull by the horns and institute real changes for our children.

• A revamping of tenure. Both of my parents are retired teachers. I can understand the value of job security for teachers, but practically no other job allows for underperforming employees to receive a salary without high levels of accountability. Merit pay is worth it if it means actually providing excellent education possibilities for our children (who are scheduled to inherit the world).
• A reexamination of charter and other successful schools. Charter schools are succeeding in our country, in part because of financial responsibility that is taken and in part because they take into account how modern children learn and how to best prepare them for the future.
• A restructuring of the teachers unions. Imagine if all of the money spent lobbying politicians was spent on paying excellent teachers and providing amazing opportunities for kids. According to Teachers Union Exposed, just the California Teachers Association alone spent more than $200 million for lobbying against education and healthcare reforms.
• A closer look at tracking. So many schools place students on tracks for education and often these tracks lead them to self-doubt and failures. Students who are labeled as “struggling” or “average” are tracked and expected to take certain classes of lower achieving levels than those who straight A’s. Make sure you know if your child’s school does tracking, and push to have it stopped for your child.
• A reality check. The schools of today were built for the world of yesterday. The jobs, opportunities, and possibilities are vastly different today, as are family structures and finances.

Yes, as a homeschool mom it seems unlikely that I would seem to have interests in or enthusiasm for academic reform. However, I am a homeschool mom because I am so concerned about the academic opportunities, or lack thereof, in our country. As parents and citizens we do need to make efforts when we vote, when we support or don’t support community events, and how we either let the system continue as is or stand up and do something.

Related posts:

1. Does Your Child Have Enough Time for School Lunch?
2. Tips for Reducing Back to School Worries
3. The Skill High School Grads Should Master… Or Forever Be Manipulated

We have taken the plunge and now 2 of our 4 kids have their own cell phones, complete with texting, and they have joined the ranks of more than 16 million children in the US with cell phones. Add to that 2 computers in the home and digital cameras and camcorders to go around, and our children are connected – seemingly to everywhere and everyone. With the world at their reach setting ground rules for technology is even more important than ever. While our parents had to worry about explaining the boundaries that were safe to travel in our neighborhood, we have to come up with ways for our kids to navigate technology safely, where their neighborhood is infinite, and not always even real.

Rules for Cell Phone Use

Selfishly I really appreciate the cell phones my kids have. My daughter attends classes at a college campus and isn’t old enough to drive. Her cell phone keeps us connected, gives her an extra measure of security, and helps me plan my driving schedule. My son travels constantly for sporting events and I have better things to do than sit and wait for a bus to bring him back that I didn’t know was 45 minutes late because he couldn’t call me. That being said – cell phones are sometimes the thorn in my side when it comes to the constant connection the kids seem to have with them. The rules are not only for safety reasons, but for the sake of sanity. Here are a few we try to live by:

• Never send pictures you wouldn’t be proud to show Great-Grandma. One day she might see them – they stay in cyber world forever.
• No texting at the dinner table, or the lunch counter, or during any other meal. Not only is it rude, but the fingers to mouths to phone and back again is a highway for germs.
• Never use your phone to tease. The person on the other end can’t tell voice inflection or the twinkle in your eye, so you cannot be certain as to how your message will be received.
• Put the phone away when there is company (even Mom and Dad’s friends). Kids see texting amid other social interactions as a quiet, un-interrupting conversation, but for adults it is an annoying and rude habit.
• If you need to answer a text or call, excuse yourself and inform your friend that you won’t be texting back until (fill in the blank) is over.
• Turn the phone off in theatres, church, school, meetings, and other formal occasions.
• Don’t text to one person and try to talk to another – it is a distraction for both and a disingenuous practice. I need eye contact, people!
• Don’t text when you and the rest of the world should be sleeping. When we were kids we were taught the 9 to 9 rule – no calling friends between 9pm and 9am out of respect for others in the household. Texting might be quieter, but those vibrating phones are still annoying (says the mom who can hear her daughter’s phone vibrate through the ceiling above my office).
• No phone use while driving. That goes for the kids and for me. I can’t expect them to follow that rule if I don’t adhere to it myself.
• Keep phone conversations private. Just because you can talk in the middle of the store to your best friend about the party last night doesn’t mean the rest of the shoppers care to hear about the details.

Rules for Computer Use

• My kids are all technology savvy – and I have to make concerted efforts to keep up with them. We have two computers, one in the office and the other a laptop, and at any given time during the day they seem to be in use. Rules for computer use not only help keep our kids safer, but they can help keep them healthier as well.
• The laptop only travels from the living room or dining room to campus or elsewhere with Mom’s permission. No computers in bedrooms – it is too easy with wireless internet to get sucked into an online world.
• Passwords are given to parents. This doesn’t mean that my husband or I use them to spy on the kids, but it does mean that in the case of an emergency we would have access to information or if we suspect our child of misbehaving or of being in danger online we could act immediately.
• Time online is finite. There are too many things to do in this world to spend countless hours hanging out online. We have limits on time spent on the computer, all of them age and academic need dependent.
• No excuses are acceptable for cyber-bullying. There is a zero tolerance policy in our home, which thankfully no one has tested. It is clear that if anyone uses technology to bully, technology will no longer be an option for that child.
• Mom and Dad get to be your “friends” on sites like Facebook, and if the site is supposed to be for kids 14 and older, we don’t lie and create accounts before that age. There is a reason for those guidelines. Many parents are surprised to learn that Twitter is actually intended for those only 18 and older, but because the site doesn’t require an age when creating an account, it becomes a non-issue.

We go over these rules and remind the kids of them regularly, which is often met with a bored-sounding, “I kkknnnooowww.” They can’t tell me I never made it clear, and they can’t tell me they weren’t aware of the rules. If they break the rules and use technology for inappropriate activities, they know The Mom always finds out and knows all. They also know that all of this technology really is a privilege and they need to treat it as such. Setting ground rules for technology isn’t mean, unnecessary, or for strict parents. Our kids live in a world where adult issues, words, and situations are right at their fingertips, yet they are still kids. Ground rules let kids use the benefits of technology and let them still be kids.

Related posts:

1. The High Court Rules: Kids Should Have Access to Violent Video Games
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3. Smart Phones: A Waste of Time or a Valid Educational Tool?

Did you ever find it odd in college that the professor who taught business had never actually ran one?

Ever wonder why so few adults actually go into a field that even relates to their degree?

These are just a few of the questions this video answers:

Truly spooky stuff huh?

It makes you realize just how much wool has been pulled over your eyes, and how they’ve tricked you into willing pulling the wool over your childrens eyes too.  Hell, they even get you to pay for your child’s indoctrination with your own damn tax dollars.  Brilliant.  Evil, but brilliant.

To see if your child’s school is indoctrinating your son or daughter I would highly encourage you to listen to this interview that I did with John Taylor Gatto, who is one of the men working to more fully expose the evil roots of our school systems.  And don’t make the mistake of thinking that just because you’ve enrolled your child in private school that you’re off the hook.

Related posts:

1. Does Your Child Have Enough Time for School Lunch?
2. The Skill High School Grads Should Master… Or Forever Be Manipulated
3. 5 Reasons Why You Should Not Home School

However, upon reading Behavior Modification: principles, issues, and applications, I began to see that these methods of behavior modification being used in public school classrooms are not entirely different from some of the techniques I employ in our own little schoolhouse of Oldenburg Homeschool. They are, in fact, very similar to some of the approaches I take to parenting in general.

How Is Behavior Modification Used in the Classroom?

Classroom management is one of the most important things a teacher can accomplish if she expects to be the primary provider of an education for 25 students. There are two important components of truly and effectively using behavior modification in the classroom. The first is that the teacher must base her approach on the collection of data about the behaviors and the activities in the classroom. Doing this helps the teacher identify specific areas that need to be addressed.

The second component is consistency. Just as in parenting, teaching requires consistent and reliable actions and reactions that build trust and understanding between children and adults. When the reactions and actions are predictable, improvements can be made.

There are three main areas of behavior modification in the classroom.

1. Praise and ignore
2. Behavior modification charts and tokens
3. Punishment

Praise and Ignore

This technique has been used in classrooms, probably often without a deliberate employment of behavior modification plans. It can be used with either individuals, small groups within the classroom, or with the entire class. In 1963 researchers at the University of Washington Laboratory Preschool studied how adult attention given to children after children displayed inappropriate behaviors actually increased the likelihood of reoccurrence. Their findings were clear – as adult praise and attention increased for appropriate behaviors, the behaviors increased. When misbehaviors were ignored, their frequency rates decreased.

While these finding don’t align with studies by those such as Alfie Kohn, they do affirm the old adage about the squeaky wheel. Sometimes our kids to react positively to negative attention – it is better than no attention at all. In a classroom where children are fighting for the attention of a single teacher or those of peers, misbehaving can be one way to gain attention.

Behavior Modification Charts and Tokens

These are popular methods used in classrooms across the country. While some might consider them bribery, using charts and tokens as motivation to improve behaviors is an effective form of behavior modification. Some teachers allow for children to turn in their tokens for prizes or once the students reach a certain milestone on the chart they receive a small trinket. For some children these are motivators, but for others these are unimportant.

It can be difficult to employ behavior modification charts and tokens well in a classroom setting with a wide range of needs. The goals of the tokens and charts should be relevant to each child in order to be effective, so the goals need to either be global for the classroom, or they need to be individually valuable. For example, not everyone will need motivation to read more, so a token system to increase reading minutes will not be beneficial to all.

Punishment

Perhaps one of the most controversial methods of behavior modification, punishment in a classroom setting can take on various forms. While you might envision a teacher slapping a student’s hand with a ruler, punishment in terms of effective behavior modification is different. It might be in the form of a student losing tokens for misbehaviors, or through social isolation (a time-out in a quiet section of the room perhaps).

Punishment could also come in the form of verbal reprimands, but this appears to be the least effective option. In fact, one interesting study done in 1970 (Craighead et al) was with a group of 48 students who inappropriately consistently getting up out of their seats. Results from the observational study showed that the number of times the teacher verbally reprimanded the students and told them to sit down directly related to the number of times students go up out of their seats. Tripling the number of times the teacher said “Sit down!” resulted in a 33% increase in the number of times children got out of their seats! In instances like this it appears that verbal punishment acts as a reinforcement of the negative behavior.

Will Behavior Modification Help in the Classroom?

Like so many components of our children’s lives, their successful interactions in the classroom rely on several factors. One of the concerns with behavior modification in the classroom is being able to maintain the new behavior. Research has shown that there are several things that can be done to make behavior modification in the classroom as beneficial as possible.

• Parents must be involved and supportive in the plans and procedures.
• There must be a solid academic program as the foundation.
• Expect that the children will do well.
• Involve children in the techniques and get them excited about them.
• Support teachers by providing them with supportive resources on behavioral principles.

So, if your child’s teacher says she wants to implement a behavior modification technique, don’t get crazy images in your head of catonic children hypnotized by psychological methods. Ask her what her data is for the plan and support her methods as you can. I’ll probably have a parent-teacher conference for my kids on the subject (that’s crazy homeschool humor).

*Source: Behavior Modification: principles, issues, and applications, by Craighead, Kazdin, and Mahoney

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Teachers, parents, and students all face the stress of superfluous standardized tests. Teachers are accountable for training students to take these exams and pass them. Parents are often responsible for making sure their children are constantly preparing for these tests. Students have perhaps the biggest burdens of all: they must not only repeatedly attempt to regurgitate information in the forms of lead-shaded bubbles, but they bear the labels those test results give from the earliest ages. They also suffer the unintended consequence of not having the opportunities to learn how to learn. Instead they are all too often in classrooms where teachers must teach to the test.

Author and outspoken critic of standardized testing (among other failures in education), Alfie Kohn digests and dissects the increasing ritual of testing students in the United States. In his article Standardized Testing and Its Victims, Kohn submits eight facts that support his theory that standardized testing is in part ruining our schools. Among these facts, Kohn disseminates the ever-increasing trend to test more and more, and to place increased value on standardized tests as well.

Kohn is not alone in his distrust of and distaste for standardized tests. Professor Rhona Weinstein reports on research that demonstrates that standardized tests are actually eroding the education of our children. Kohn, Weinstein, and others like Sir Ken Robinson, find many reasons why standardized tests are not leading our children into brighter futures, but instead showing them a limited viewpoint of themselves, as if they are seeing themselves in a mirror which is mostly covered in black and only allowing small glimpses of reflection.

• Few countries around the world place the emphasis on standardized testing like seen in America. These other countries do not routinely test children younger than high school age, and are countries with high academic outcomes.
• Standardized tests pressure teachers to teach to the test. The job requirements to end the school year with test scores of certain marks take away from the job description of actually teaching children.
• Schools that focus on standardized tests often decrease classes and opportunities for arts, physical education, social sciences, and more. They instead use their time to focus on the subjects that will be tested, primarily mathematics and language arts.
• Standardized tests measure students’ abilities to answer finite questions in limited areas of focus. They test a student’s ability to weed through possible answers, make guestimates, and interpret the language on a test.
• Education in America is at risk of losing teachers who have the passion and ability to educate children who can think for themselves. The New York Times reports that the pressures to increase test scores results in schools unintentionally making the difficult job of teaching even more demanding, and less rewarding.
• Students who can afford more tutors and rigorous test preparation courses might be able to improve their own test scores, but then increase the already growing gap between socioeconomic groups.

Even among these voices of reason, there are those who feel that standardized tests are the best ways to measure our children’s performances in school and their preparedness for their futures. Some researchers report that standardized test scores are among the best predictors of college and graduate school performances. However, perhaps this is because those students who are able to “test well” are the same students who are able to “test well” on in-class pop-quizzes and the regurgitation of information in college courses. Perhaps both standardized tests and college grades are not the best predictors of life successes and abilities after all.

What can parents and teachers do about the pressures of standardized tests?

Unfortunately, much of the pressure placed on schools to increase tests given and raise test scores come from government. The better the scores, the more money will be available, and the cycle will continue. While the idea behind “No Child Left Behind” is admirable, the execution has been extremely lacking. As Kohn writes, “The focus among policymakers has been on standards of outcome rather than standards of opportunity.” Parents and teachers need to act to make sure that our children are failing because they are learning to ace tests.

Vote. Parents and teachers need to make sure their voices are heard at the polls. Elect officials on all levels who have reasonable, intelligent plans for the future of education.

Be an active school board member. School officials don’t make all of the rules, but they do have a responsibility to represent what is going on in certain regions and communities. They have the position to take the ideas and concerns to the next level.

Give your child a well-rounded education. Whether your child is in public, private, or another type of school, make it your priority as a parent to balance the demands of teaching to the test with real world opportunities for growth. If your school cuts the arts programs, try to make those opportunities available to your child through community programs.

Don’t let your child be stereotyped by test scores. Keep the scores private, both when positive and not so great. The less emphasis you place on the scores, the more confident your child will feel about all of her abilities.

The first time my child took a standardized test I was anxious and wracked with self-doubt. At the age of 7 and homeschooled all of her life she had never taken a standardized exam. I felt as though I was about to be assessed more than she, and the future of our academic choices resided in those test results. Although I knew she was extremely capable and bright, I did not know how she would perform on a test where each circle needed to be shaded precisely and she could not question the questions.

Fast-forward many years and I now know the truth about standardized tests. I know before my kids take their exams if they are passing or failing math, excelling in reading, or surpassing expectations – I don’t need a test to tell me that. My kids don’t need a test to show them how much they know or don’t know. Every year now they take the exams, as mandated by our state’s homeschooling laws, and the kids actually have fun with them and have learned to look at them almost as a game. We don’t fret over scores or fear time limits. The scores might be a mediocore and generalized glimpse of a small portion of their abililities, but they don’t reflect all of who they are and who they are becoming.

I, and teachers and parents like me, can spend countless hours injecting the precise materials we know will be tested into our kids, but we won’t be teaching our children lessons that will let them succeed. They won’t learn to learn and think for themselves, and they won’t have the opportunities to be creative, insightful, and questioning. Without those qualities, what will our future look like?

Related posts:

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2. Does Spelling Really Matter in Your Child’s Education?
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Why Should We Teach Our Kids to Spell Well?

Spelling is an integral part of life. It is more than just about writing clear and correct sentences. It is about reading, understanding, and communicating. Without understanding the rules for and the connotations of spelling, the written word is less valuable. Yes, our children live in a world where the dictionary is used for holding doors open more often than for searching for words. Kids can find the correct spelling and definition of words by using voice recognition software. When 5th graders write research papers they learn that words underlined in red are misspelled, but they don’t even have to search for the correct version – they merely need to choose from a suggested list of possibilities. However, life is not comprised solely of automated corrections. Spelling is just one of the valuable tools we can make sure that our children have in their toolboxes.

• Understanding spelling rules helps children learn to read. There is no substitution for phonetics when it comes to learning to read, and understanding phonetics comes from learning how to spell.
• Proficiency with spelling helps to enhance verbal communication. Kids who understand some of the basic rules for spelling are more likely to understand some of the basic rules for pronunciations and enunciations.
• Spell check programs don’t necessarily know if you meant through instead of threw, or to instead of too. They are not fail safe options for kids who aren’t taught spelling.
• Employers will notice on job applications, résumés, and office communication, and are often less than impressed with poor spelling. While technology is becoming more integrated in classrooms, there are plenty of teachers who still rely on pencil and paper methods for quizzes, assignments, and tests, especially in-class. One of my daughter’s professors is known to hand out a question, tell the students they have 10 minutes, and he wants 200 words – with pencil and paper – and he marks off for spelling errors.

How Can I Teach My Child to Spell?

There is a stereotype that homeschoolers are amazing spellers. They are not inherently so (sorry kids). However, I think what they do tend to have which is valuable to learning to spell well, is the opportunity to integrate two of the key components outlined by researchers to improved spelling – visual memory and spelling memory. None of my children are magnificent spellers. However, they do have a few tricks up their sleeve and a solid foundation in language skills. In traditional school setting spelling is often divided into a separate subject, where in my homeschool experience it is integrated into all subjects.

Spelling is not just about memorizing the order of letters. Researchers have found that there are two main types of memory involved with learning to spell: visual memory and spelling memory.

Visual memory is what children use when they remember the physical shapes of letters. Even a toddler can recognize the letters of his first name simply by having seen those letters monogrammed above his crib since the first day he came home from the hospital. Accurate spelling goes far beyond visual memorization. It requires spelling memory, or the ability of children to use what they know about speech, phonetics, and the relationships of words to each other. Children cannot truly learn to spell if we don’t teach them how to integrate both parts of these memory devices. 

Once children are given opportunities to use both their visual and spelling memories, they can use this knowledge to make assumptions when reading or deciphering speech.

Focus just as much on the sound that letters make as on the modern name for each letter. Programs like “How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons” don’t have teachers saying this is the letter “a” in the word bat, but instead say the short sound of the letter. English letters do not just say their own names, confusing many children as they are learning to spell and read.

Teach children the history of root words. Latin and Greek sources of root words are often grouped together as families of words. It can be easier for your child to learn about a family of words than to memorize words individually. It also reinforces the meanings behind words, building upon their knowledge and their abilities for recall. I’ve used a simple workbook program – Vocabulary from Classical Roots – to teach my children about the spellings and meanings of root words.

Don’t limit spelling to paper and pencil. Use toothpicks, popsicle sticks, tape on the floor, and rocks to form letters and words. Help your kids play association games for spelling. If they are learning to spell the word stick, give them sticks to form the letters. Association games like this reinforce meaning behind the sometimes senseless letter combinations.

Use what you know about your child’s learning styles. If you have a kinesthetic learner, don’t force him to sit and memorize word lists. Have him hop as he says the letter sounds in each word. If you have a visual learner, encourage her to trace letters as she says the sounds. For kids with sensory learning styles, give them a tray of shaving cream or rice and have them spell words onto the textures. It helps to reinforce the letter shapes in long-term memory in the brain.

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2. Standardized Tests: Failures in Education
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Watching a news clip recently reminded me about the importance of encouraging our children to become entrepreneurs. Carl Schramm, co-president of the Kaufman Foundation, reports that it is encouraging news that there is “huge enthusiasm among kids to start businesses.” This enthusiasm, while not enough to immediately improve the economy, is vital for the future of developing businesses in this country. Suddenly I feel a little pressure to make sure that as a parent I don’t squash one iota of entrepreneurial spirit that my kids are displaying.

Help Kids to Chase Their Entrepreneurial Dreams

No pressure. Just the fate of the modern world balancing on our shoulders to help raise children who can successfully become entrepreneurs – be their own bosses and make their marks in the world, all while positively impacting the national and global economy. OK – there doesn’t need to be that much pressure, but parents do need to be that support system that will allow kids to become entrepreneurs.

Encourage the spirit. If you have a child who wants to sell lemonade, homemade stickers, old baseball cards, or even pet rocks, encourage him to try. Even if the thought of running your own business is foreign or unappealing to you, give room for your child to explore this option.

Don’t stop your child from failing. Failure is one of the best teachers in life. Eons ago during my own childhood my older sister (I think she was about 6) wanted to earn money. Her grand plan was to sell newspapers. Old newspapers from a rusty red wagon. And we were the second to last house on a dead-end country road, and weren’t allowed to leave the end of the driveway. But my parents let her load her wagon with every old newspaper she could find and pace the driveway. Of course no customers ever came, but she learned that not all plans work as dreamed, but it doesn’t mean you have to stop dreaming. If you don’t let your child fail, she won’t know how to improve her approach and plans next time.

Help find answers. You don’t have to be a small business owner to teach your child how to be an entrepreneur. Help them learn how to find answers to their questions. Start with the library, your local small business association, and Better Business Bureau. There are some great books geared toward kids, such as Kidbiz: Everything You Need to Know to Start Your Own Business.

Be a subtle guiding hand. When my daughter wanted to prepare and sell dog treats to raise money for a non-profit, I was concerned about the legal issues. I suggested she contact the FDA, who in turn steered her to the USDA. At first she was told she could do this as long as 100% of the proceeds went to the non-profit. It turns out this was a learning curve for her and her contact with the USDA however, as she was later contacted and told she could bake and sell nothing – not even at an old fashioned craft and bake sale. Apparently there are more strict guidelines on dog food than on some human foods! While she was extremely disappointed, she learned a valuable lesson about the intricacies of the law and the importance of covering your business basics.

Teach your child some lessons about finances. You don’t need to dictate how and where to spend the money, both for supplies and from profit, but you should start with some real world examples of expenses and income. If your child needs start-up money make sure that you only provide it in the form of a loan to be paid back upon first profits earned or through other specific means if the venture would fail. These are real plans with real consequences – real life teaching real money management lessons.

Who Becomes an Entrepreneur?

Perhaps it is because we homeschool our kids that they are used to independent processes, or they see me work-at-home part-time and are drawn to the flexibility and rewards of it. Maybe it is because they have seen their father run his own part-time business from home that they can’t imagine a career completely dictated by someone else.

While I never set out to directly teach my kids to have an entrepreneurial sense, it does appear that I have fallen precisely into the statistics. Reports indicate that the anatomy of entrepreneurs is very much mirrored in my home. The typical adult entrepreneur is married, has children, and a solid educational foundation, and does not necessarily come from a home where parents were entrepreneurs. Research also shows that parents do play a role in at least encouraging their kids to explore the possibilities of running their own companies.

Preparing our kids for their futures and their future possibilities as entrepreneurs is no easy task. I guess I had better prepare for more worm farms (yes – one son has done that) and online marketing. The future of the economy depends on it. Gulp.

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