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It’s really wrong to sugar coat breastfeeding as easy and natural. Sure, women naturally produce milk during pregnancy but one has to appreciate the art, science (and for some cultures, the necessity) of breastfeeding for one to really be successful with it. Because there will be challenges from Day One.

First, there’s teaching the baby to latch.

Sometimes, it is as easy as bringing the baby to your breast. But sometimes, a long labor, a C-section delivery, not rooming in, having the baby bottlefed with formula at the nursery, and special circumstances can make the perfect latch harder to achieve. Women have to know that the baby should be facing her breasts and not accessing it from the side and that the baby’s mouth should be latched not just to her nipple but part of her areola as well.

Plus, it does hurt, especially initially.

I don’t think we have any body part accustomed to as much stimulation as the breasts will get during breastfeeding so it’s but logical to feel a little raw in the beginning. If you’re feeding from a bad position as well, like hunching forward or without a pillow to prop the baby up, your back will give out. And then of course, the baby will grow teeth.

And you doubt yourself.

Is the baby getting milk? Is he getting enough? Am I producing enough? Should I do anything to boost my supply? Am I feeding him often enough? Why isn’t he getting plump if breast milk is so rich? Why is he still crying? Why is he nursing all the time?

Few moms take time to know that breast milk is highly digestible. They also forget that newborn stomachs are so small; it’s easy to fill them. Put these two facts together and they will understand why newborns feed 8-12 times a day. Interestingly too, all of us have forgotten quite how it feels to be a newborn who cannot quite communicate what’s making us upset but I imagine, leaving the safe confines of our mother’s womb should be stressor enough. Newborns may also cry because of heat and cold, noise and unfamiliar smells, and sometimes, aches in their tummies. And the only thing that will comfort them is suckling from their Mom. Even my already-weaned toddler still touches base with my breasts when scared. It’s a comfort zone; a security blanket.

And others may not be as supportive as you’d wish them to be.

Your mother reminds you that you were formula fed and you turned out alright. Others suggest you mix-feed at least so your baby will grow more. Your husband is sleeping soundly while you’re up nursing. Well-meaning friends ask you if your breasts won’t sag that way. And there isn’t always a breastfeeding area when you go out.

It is up to the mother now to have reasons and facts, not necessarily to defend the decision to breastfeed but to stay committed. Knowing pregnancy and smoking and too much weight gain/loss is the culprit for breasts sagging, aside from age, of course, will help one to just laugh off friends’ comments. Finding meaning in the intimacy and bonding brought by breastfeeding to mother and child will help one understand that her own mother might just be feeling defensive about her own choices in the past. Knowing that babies can still be healthy without being round also helps mothers be at peace with their child’s body size. Also, getting as much sleep as your husband does isn’t realistic but you can still get more sleep if you master the art of nursing in the side-lying position.

Breastfeeding will always have its challenges. Sometimes you’d be scared by a pus-looking something on your nipple that really is just a milk blister. On the other hand, sometimes you’d dismiss redness in your breasts as just a rash when it’s really thrush. But arming yourself with the proper information before you actually have to nurse will make you more confident. Joining support groups if it’s something novel in your circle will also do a lot to empower you. And you will find that despite all the struggles, and every mother and child has them, breastfeeding successfully is actually possible. Questions do have answers. Problems do have solutions. And yes, most women reach a plateau where it becomes second nature.